Pokébattles Foxfire

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>>> (001-100)
>>> Battles 1-5
>>> Battles 6-10
>>> Tournament 1
>>> Battles 11-15
>>> Battles 16-20
>>> Tournament 2
>>> Battles 21-25
>>> Battles 26-30
>>> Fanfic 1
>>> Battles 31-35
>>> Battles 36-40
>>> Tournament 3
>>> Battles 41-45
>>> Battles 46-50
>>> Battles 51-55
>>> War Event 1
>>> Battles 56-60
>>> Battles 61-65
>>> Battles 66-70
>>> Battles 71-75
>>> Battles 76-80
>>> Battles 81-85
>>> Battles 86-90
>>> Battles 91-95
>>> Battles 96-100
>>> (101-200)
>> MIDI Music

Battles 46-50 are a mixed bag. #46 is more Rocket Doompuff arc, a montage. #47 and #48 have Hiber as a major focus - dealing with authorial frustrations and the PokéBattles 23rd Anniversary. #49 is filler, and #50 continues the proud PokéBattles tradition of bringing someone back to life every 50 battles.

<< Older | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | Newer >>

PokéBattles Foxfire: Tournament #3

>> Read Here <<

I finally wrote a battle before the night of. Mostly.

Battle 46: Rambling Repercussions 3/31/2022
Location: Resistance Base
Player: Jane F. Deer [6-1-4] Last Battle: #44

So, recap, where are we now.
We were able to start chipping away at that Murdermime.
But we lost a lot of people and really only beat it thanks to that random Mew's intervention...
... And for some reason it thinks it's a darn Jojo villain.
But there's no way Giovanni settled for just us. How's the rest of the world doing?
NARRATOR checks!
... Not good!
NARRATOR used MONTAGE!

Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Champion Lance

ROCKET EXECUTIVE appeared!
ROCKET EXECUTIVE wants to fight!
Really, hadn't had enough after the Lake of Rage?
Well, have at you.
LANCE sent out DRAGONITE!
LANCE sent out DRAGONITE!
LANCE sent out DRAGONITE!
Enemy ROCKET EXECUTIVE sent out CHAOTICALLY CACOPHONIC ZUBAT OF CONFUSION!
... AKA CONFUBAT!
... It just looks like an ordinary Zubat.
Enemy CONFUBAT used SUPERSUPERSONIC!
DRAGONITE was badly confused!
DRAGONITE was badly confused!
DRAGONITE was badly confused!
Oh bother.
It hurt LANCE in its confusion!
It hurt LANCE in its confusion!
It hurt LANCE in its confusion!
It's super excessive!
... Needless to say, LANCE died!

Location: Indigo Plateau
Player: Champion Steven

Enemy HECKANS used HECK!
HOENN was fully HECKED UP!
--Wait, don't I even get an intro or anything!?
... NO!
STEVEN fainted!

Location: The Internet
Player: Bass.EXE

Enemy PORYGONER appeared!
... A virus? No... Another human creation? ... Weak.
Air Shot!
BASSEXE used AIR SHOT!
It doesn't affect enemy PORYGONER!
Hell's Rolling!
BASSEXE used HELLS ROLLING!
HELLS rolled over enemy PORYGONER!
... It doesn't affect enemy PORYGONER!
That much, huh..
Enemy PORYGONER used GONER!
Enemy PORYGONER: The end comes... beyond chaos...
... Life Aura!!
BASSEXE used LIFE AURA!
LIFE AURA was instantly snapped in half!
... This is going to hurt.
...And it did!
BASSEXE fainted!

Location: Folded Gap
Player: General M. D. Mayhem, Unova Combined Arms Army

Troops, as long as we hold this position, the enemy can't win.
Our intelligence reports they're approaching this position fast. So hold strong!
Enemy ROCKET appeared!
Enemy ROCKET wants to fight!
Here they come. ... There's only one?
Enemy ROCKET sent out FEARATTATA!
All forces, attack!
TANKS used CANNON FIRE!
CHOPPERS used ROCKET FIRE!
ARTILLERY used MASS BARRAGE!
POKéMON CAVALRY used MASS BEAM ATTACK!
TREE BATTALION used APPLE BOMBARDMENT!
Enemy FEARATTATA received 943256894 damage!
... We've done it!
SMOKE cleared!
Enemy FEARATTATA hung on using its DIREFOCUSSASH!
Enemy FEARATTATA used ENDEAVOR!
UNOVA COMBINED ARMS ARMY fell to 1 HP!
... Impossible! There's no way!
Enemy FEARATTATA used QUICK ATTACK!
TANKS died!
QUICK was torn out!
Fall back! Fall back!
Enemy FEARATTATA's attack continues!
CHOPPERS died!
Enemy FEARATTATA's attack continues!
ARTILLERY died!
POKéMON CAVALRY died!
TREE BATTALION was instantly snapped in half!
TREE BATTALION died!
Well. That's it then.
Enemy FEARATTATA'S attack continues!
GENERAL MAYHEM died!

Location: Vegas, Calsino Casino
Player: Calvin "Calsino" Capone

GIOVANNI appeared!
Say, Giovanni! What's the beef?
GIOVANNI wants to fight!
... Fight? What's the big idea? I've always dealt fairly with you.
GIOVANNI wants to TIE UP LOOSE ENDS!
Man, I've always been square with you, and this is how you treat me?
C'mon, you don't want to bump me off, boss. I'm worth more to you alive, you know that.
... Also, go, Casino!
Go! CASINO!
GIOVANNI disagrees!
Enemy GIOVANNI sent out ROCKET DOOMPUFF!
... Well, that was about what I was expecting. Security!
CASINO enough! Come back!
The enemy's wrecking the entire version! Go! SECURITY!
Enemy ROCKET DOOMPUFF instantly devoured SECURITY!
Quick, while it's eating, smoke bomb!
CALSINO used SMOKE BOMB!
CALSINO ran away!

Location: Resistance HQ
Player: Jane F. Deer

So what you're saying is that nothing else is able to deal with this either.
Okay, Narrator, don't mince words with me, on a scale of 1 to something the zombie censor cloud would zap me for saying, how bad are we?
... UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD forbids NARRATOR from answering!
Okay, so really, really bad. Got it...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Meta shenanigans involving the author are an old thing in PokéBattles. Old, old, old. The events depicted in this battle are vaguely true, but also somewhat dramatized and amplified for effect.

Battle 47: Inevitable Writer's Block Joke 4/7/2022
Setting: Meta 100%
Player: Hiber [2-0-0] Last Battle: Battle #43

WRITERSBLOCK appeared!
Oh joy...
WRITERSBLOCK wants to fight!
... It's early Thursday morning already, isn't it.
Enemy WRITERSBLOCK sent out WRITERSBLOCK!
Hm, go, buffer. I've got to have at least one good battle left...
There's no will to fight!
Oh... Right. Completely and totally empty.
Uhh... I've got a pretty good story arc going. Sort of.
Go, story arc?
Go! STORYARC!
Story arc, advance.
STORYARC used ADVANCE!
STORYARC advanced... STRAIGHT UP!
No, no, if you do that, you're going to...
STORYARC's attack continues!
STORYARC used STALL!
STORYARC is paralyzed! It may not attack!
Oh phooey.
Enemy WRITERSBLOCK used BLOCK!
STORYARC was fully BLOCKED on SOCIAL MEDIA!
Yeah, but I think the social media sites already got beaten up.
Or maybe eaten by the Rockets' ... Half baked Doompuff clone ... things.
Anyway, return, Story Arc, go, Beta Arc.
STORYARC enough! Come back!
The enemy's the incarnation of difficulty writing! Get'm BETAARC!
Let me see, what do I even have for beta arcs...
...Uh, Mario and Luigi? They're good at breaking blocks.
BETAARC used BLOCK BREAK!
It's not very effective...
Of course it's not, because I don't know what to do with them...
BETAARC was hit with recoil!
BETAARC fainted!
I'll just ... take it to the center later...
Go, Filler!
BETAARC enough! Come back!
Go! FILLER!
Hmm, what can I use as filler...
Wait...
Wait just a moment.
I'm in a filler battle. I'll just throw this up, aha!
Filler, use Writer's Block Battle!
FILLER used WRITERSBLOCKBATTLE!
WRITERSBLOCK was fully BATTLED!
It's super effective!
WRITERSBLOCK fainted!
Phew...
Well, that buys me a week. Next week's the PokéBattles anniversary, though.
I better get cracking...
Maybe... In the morning.
HIBER fell asleep!
...
HIBER won!

I've had the idea for this battle for ... A while. I only managed to finish it the very night of the 14th, sadly.
I think I could've done better with it. PokéBattles Present and Future were written this very night and I didn't have very many ideas to what to do with them.
But it is what it is. It's also nearly 400 lines of HTML and I don't know how many scene transitions, so I'm posting it and hoping for the best now.
Happy PokéBattles 23rd Anniversary!

Battle 48: A PokéBattles Carol 4/14/2022
Time: April 13, 2022
Player: Hiber [3-0-0] Last Battle: #47

... Well.
Honestly? It's been like 23 years since Jason first put text to screen.
PokéBattles as a format came to life when there were only 151 species, and now we're over 900 not even counting the palette-swaps and megaforms.
The newer games' narration doesn't even have the same format we're making fun of.
We've gone from "ROCKET wants to fight!" to "Team Rocket Grunt Steven would like to battle!" and it just doesn't have the same...
Charm? Panache? Something.
It just feels... Sort of irrelevant these days.
And all the while here I am running myself ragged to try to keep this antique institution running. Last week I had to push through my own struggles with writer's block to get something up in time.
It hasn't gone away, either.
WRITERSBLOCK used BLOCK!
It's super effective!
CREATIVITY was fully BLOCKED!
See? I'm stumped.
Honestly, I'm just disillusioned with the whole thing.
I'm just gonna go back to gaming.
NOTEPAD++ wants to fight!
Shoo.
40K VIEWS MILESTONE wants to fight!
Honestly, it feels like they're all bots most days.
Speaking of bots... I'm gonna just go blow some up.
ANNIVERSARY appeared!
Anniversary. Oh. Oh yeah, I guess he did start it on the 14th.
Bah. Humbug.
HIBER used HUMBUG!
HIBER used VIDEOGAMES!
...
BOT died!
BOT died!
BOT died!
...
CHARACTER died!
Ow. Let's just...
What? SCREEN is evolving!
SCREEN evolved into STATIC!
LIGHTS used DIM!
WINDOWS used BANGOPEN!
ALARM used RING!
It's super unnerving!
... Humbug, fie.
??? used SLAMOPEN!
DOOR fainted!
KASPAROV appeared!
KASPAROV: Hiber.
Garry.
KASPAROV: Hiber! You walk a dangerous road!
You're one to talk, you ditched it thirteen years ago.
KASPAROV: And for twelve years I was lost to The Nothing!
KASPAROV: And you make light of my madness every time I show up!
... Yes, I dredged you up for that purpose. Since you're kind of based on a real person, I figure I can get away with it...
KASPAROV: The rest of Red Version is down there.
KASPAROV: Them, and all the others you've preserved in your Amber trophy case.
KASPAROV: They're waiting for you. I still feel their chains.
... Humbug.
KASPAROV used JUMPSCARE!
HIBER flinched!
!!!
KASPAROV: Know ye this. You will be haunted by three spirits.
KASPAROV: The first shall come tomorrow night when the bell tolls One.
KASPAROV: The next shall come the next night at the same time.
KASPAROV: The last shall come at the last stroke of Twelve.
... Last stroke? I use a digital clock, I'm not sure there's a bell clock in the whole town.
KASPAROV: Oh, there will be. There will be.
KASPAROV used OMINOUS WARNING!
WINDOW used OPEN!
KASPAROV ran away!
Ugh... Check on the door...
DOOR is LOCKED! DOOR's HP is full!
... Did I dream it all? Hum... b...h...
HIBER used REST!
HIBER fell asleep!

Time: The Next Night, 1:00 AM

GHOST OF POKéBATTLES PAST appeared!
... A Team Rocket Missingno. flashlight?
GHOSTPAST: I represent the oldest and the newest and the light of remembrance.
GHOSTPAST: The past is naught but shadows. My light illuminates these shadows and brings them into focus.
Wait, but wouldn't direct light just disrupt--
GHOSTPAST: Rise and walk with me!
GHOSTPAST used IRONGRIP!
HIBER was dragged off!

Time: Early 2005ish

OLD WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES appeared!
Oh. I remember this.
...Yeah. That's how I found it. Way back then someone smuggled an article on.
Being it was 2004-2005-ish, it made it months before getting deleted.
I was ... lonely. And reluctant to do anything online that had a face or a trace.
... PokéBattles was ... Nice.
DECAPITATION 2004 appeared!

Player: Lord Sleuth

What a fine, cool evening this is.
EERIE BREEZE rustles nearby TREES in OMINOUS WAY!
It's a good thing I'm not a fictional character, or I'd suspect that was foreshadowing.
LIGHTING STRIKES in the DISTANCE!
Well, I better get this investigation over with so I can get back home. Let's see… I think this is the place.
HOUSE ON THE HILL appeared!
Yep, fits the description alright.
DOORS have STICKERS on them!
Well now, that's odd…
DOOR ON THE LEFT: Kerry/Edwards 2004
Uh oh.
DOOR ON THE RIGHT: Bush/Cheney 2004
Oh sweet merciful Doompuff… what kind of satanic house is this??

Player: Hiber

Yeah. That was the head battle at the time.
It was the second election year Halloween battle and really the one that established that as a pattern.
And... Really the last battle, for the most part. Shame, honestly.
The elections since would've been fun. Maybe they'd make a good extra for Amber.
... Wait why am I thinking about that already it's still only the first act--
GHOSTPAST: Come!
GHOSTPAST used IRONGRIP!
HIBER was dragged off!

Location: Dark Version

DARK FANFIC INDEX appeared!
... Ah. This was...
... Really, one of my first real exposures to "fanfiction."
It exposed me to a lot of things. I think it helped me find some of the old archives I read fanfiction on, back then.
Shame. Almost all of them are lost, most even to the Internet Archive version.
GHOSTPAST: Come!
Wait, but we haven't even done anything here yet--
GHOSTPAST used IRONGRIP!
HIBER was dragged off!

Location: Flame Version

Huh... This place.
I remember this version well. Honestly, in retrospect... I'm pretty sure it helped make me who I am now.
... Sort of, anyway.
FLAME #35 appeared!
...This battle.
I remember this battle. It was the crowded one, wasn't it?

Player: Matt/Mattchu, Mélissa Gaiaku/Raichoukou, Bill, Senkouhi, Jason Ross, Tom

Why WERE you hiding from him anyway...
MATTCHU: Because, uh, 1) He's my dad.
You have a dad?
RANDOM DEATH RAY smited MÉLISSA into SPACE!
RANDOM TIME REVERSAL brought her back, fully hurt!
MATTCHU: ..yes. Except 2) I'm still a raichu, if you didn't notice.
...which means...
MATTCHU: He can't know! He's over 25, that means all possible accepting of anything like THIS is out of the question...
JIM thinks of a way to directly link that with US POLITICS!

Player: Hiber

... The irony of course being that I'm almost 30 myself... And meaningfully more competent in this.
I'm pretty sure at least one of my parents reads this anyway... Also...
That is so many players, and he wasn't lettering with tags...
... YES!
And in the end...

Player: ...See above

WHAT? MÉLISSA is evolving!
MÉLISSA evolved into RAICHOUKOU!
YAY! I finally succeeded in doing...uh... Why did I want to do that again..?
RAI: You don't want to know...
SENKOUHI stared at RAICHOUKOU!
RAICHOUKOU is ANGRY!
RAICHOUKOU wants to EAT SENKOUHI!
...waai?
SENKOUHI ran off in OTHER DIRECTION!
...leaving...
TOM used his HEAD to try and GET OUT!
TOM is now lying unconscious on the FLOOR!
...clever you...
BILL: Leaving me and you, Matt...
...damnit. Well, look if you're going to...
BILL: .. it's a nicely constructed place...
BILL waved to MATT and went off!
...matt...
MATT looked to JASON!
JASON is the ALMIGHTY ONE, you remember..

Player: Hiber

... In the end, people are more complicated than that. And good family members accept you as you are.
Good ones, anyway.
Everything worked out all right, hmmh... And maybe it guided me to where I am today.
Where next, spirit...?
GHOSTPAST: Come!
You don't have to grab me, I'm--
GHOSTPAST used IRONGRIP!
HIBER was dragged off!

Time: Late 2009

... Ah ...
PAST HIBER appeared!
POKéBATTLES COMMUNITY appeared!
YAHOO appeared!
YAHOO wants to fight!
YAHOO sent out GEOCITIES!
No, no... This is...
POKéBATTLES COMMUNITY sent out POKéBATTLES!
POKéBATTLES used LAST HUZZAH!
It's not very effective...
PAST HIBER is distracted!
I didn't even see that last arc until last year... Why did Jason keep it just on GeoCities...
YAHOO: GeoCities, you're no longer profitable. We're shutting you down.
No, no...
PAST HIBER used IGNORE!
POKéBATTLES COMMUNITY used ARCHIVE!
REDVERSION was archived!
BLUEVERSION was archived!
POKéBATTLES COMMUNITY's attack continues!
Not enough PP for ARCHIVE!
They archived what they could. But ... I just stood by. I didn't even take a last look...!
GHOSTPAST: The arrow of time flows only one direction. The past is inevitable.
YAHOO: GeoCities, Self-destruct. We need your servers.
GEOCITIES used SELFDESTRUCT!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
GEOCITIES died!
POKéBATTLES died!
POKéBATTLES COMMUNITY fainted!
I ... should've done something...
Spirit! Why do you task me!
Show me no more! Begone! Off with your switch!
HIBER used OFF!
GHOSTPAST was fully OFFED!
GHOSTPAST fainted!
Leaving me in the dark--
HIBER blacked out!

Time: The Following Night, 1:00 AM

GHOST OF POKéBATTLES PRESENT appeared!
... A Hauntales. Fitting - given it's only myself and Stephen who are active anymore.
GHOSTPRES: You have never seen the like of me before! Look on me!
... Never? I've seen a lot of hybrid Fakémon...
GHOSTPRES: Never! Though perhaps you have walked with my brothers before.
... Have you had many brothers?
GHOSTPRES: Nine!
As many as my tails...
Well, spirit. What have you to show me?
GHOSTPRES: Take my hand!
... It's all bloody.
GHOSTPRES: That would be from you procrastinating and working yourself raw...
My bad... All right, let's do this.

Location: PokéBattles Foxfire

... It's so ... empty.
I mean, there's what I've done. But... Not much else.
GHOSTPRES: The internet is a different place now than it was then.
GHOSTPRES: Besides, you have 40,000 hits and one fansite!
Yeah, but how many of them are bots? Or me.
GHOSTPRES: Does it really matter?
... Do I have any readers?
GHOSTPRES: ... Come!

Location: Cratchett Residence

... Oh, what's this?
GHOSTPRES: You asked whether you had readers.
TINY TIM appeared!
... I'm ... Being read by ...
...
HIBER used LOOKUP!
HIBER looked up!
SKY is GRAY!
...Well, that wasn't helpful, let me just google this real quick here.
HIBER used WIKIPEDIA!
It's super effective!
Now then, where was I...
My battles are being read by...
...
. . .
A twelve hundred pound aircraft rocket!?
TINY TIM: YES>
TINY TIM: I WOULD BE VERY SAD IF"N YOU DECIDED TO STOP WRITING>>>
TINY TIM: YOU WOULDN"T LIKE ME WHEN I"M SAD>
...Duly noted...
Spirit get me out of here...
HIBER ran away!

Location: Previous Location

BELL used TOLL!
BELL charged £11.45!
Ahh...
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
GHOSTPRES's LIFESPAN greatly fell!
... Wait, what?
Spirit, you're aging.
GHOSTPRES: You have given me life this very year, but my life upon this server is brief.
GHOSTPRES: It is coming to an end already.
GHOSTPRES: It ends tonight at midnight. Hark!
BELL used TOLL!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
GHOSTPRES fainted!
Oh. Oh... Dear.

Time: Midnight

GHOST OF POKéBATTLES YET-TO-COME appeared!
... You. I recognize you. I know what you are.
There's doom written on your round, hooded, features.
In your one visible flipper-looking hand.
Of course there's no denying it, you're Doompuff in a long black cloak...!
GHOSTYTC used POINT FORWARD!
... Lead the way, spirit.

Location: Foxfire Version
Time: Shades of Things Yet To Come

JANE: As we all know, we've been abandoned for months.
JANE: There hasn't been a real update since October, and even then it was phoned--
JANE vanished!
.. The Nothing.
SAMXCVT: I looked around for a moment. It was as if I'd felt this before, the echo of a voice I didn't recognize. It was as if she'd been talking to me, but then my memory--
SAMXCVT vanished!
KASPAROV: It's the Nothing! No! No nononono not a third time, I'll sooner...!
KASPAROV used SELFDESTRUCT!
But, it failed!
KASPAROV vanished!
... If I stop writing. They're all doomed.
... ... but what about the rest? What about Stephen?
GHOSTYTC used POINT FORWARD!

Location: Sandy Version

... My word. It's.
SMALLTEARINTOTHEPLOTFLOW appeared!
SMALLTEARINTOTHEPLOTFLOW used VERSION DESTRUCTION!
I remember this. No, no...
... No, I don't want to see all of this again. Spirit! Tell me, what becomes of me in this forgotten future?
GHOSTYTC used POINT FORWARD!

Location: Hiber's Lair

FUTURE HIBER appeared!
Is... Is that ... Me?
FUTURE HIBER used SLOW DECAY!
It's super effective!
FUTURE HIBER's CONSTITUTION greatly fell!
FUTURE HIBER'S RELEVANCE greatly fell!
FUTURE HIBER withered away!
... That's true.
Of all the things I've tried to do out of my own desires...
... This is really the one that's gotten the furthest.
If it failed, I don't know where I'd go next.
HIBER used STAND STRONG!
HIBER's COURAGE greatly rose!
Spirit. I understand. Spirit.
Take me back. I know what is to come...
SPIRIT instantly snapped HIBER in half!
Wait, wha--

Time: April 13, 2022

HIBER woke up!
... It was ... A dream? Was it a dream?
KASPAROV: Ehh, dream, supernaturally induced vision and warning of what might be, potayto, potahto.
Whatever it was, it was far too long and pretentious, and ripping off Dickens is cliché anyway, who writes this carp...
... Oh, wait.
HIBER used SELF BURN!
It doesn't affect HIBER!
... Fire type advantages...
Anyway, I gotta get this up and think about what I'm gonna do next week... mnh.
Because I write this for my own fluffy nine tailed self. Even if it wears my paws to the bone, I will. And I'll rebuild my buffer!
TINY TIM appeared!
... wait, what--
TINY TIM: I"M SO PROUD OF YOU
...Incoming!!!
HIBER ran away!
KASPAROV ran away!
TINY TIM: >>>
TINY TIM: <>< TINY TIM: JASON BLESS US< EVERYONE!>>>

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

I hope the term "lich" has adequately permeated into pop culture. I know D&D is increasingly so. I haven't played it much since 3.5e, but I like it.

Battle 49: Dungeons and Darkness 4/21/2022
Setting: Tabletop Game 70% / Video Game 30%
Player: Wizard [No Record]

I can't believe it. Heroes we are, and yet here we are hunting kobolds in a cave.
CLERIC says it's the WILL OF ST. CUTHBERT!
ASSASSIN says the pay's good!
FIGHTER says KOBOLDS are squishy!
All that aside, it's a waste of my talents.
KOBOLDS appeared!
KOBOLDS wants to fight!
Pathetic rabble.
KOBOLDS sent out KOBOLDS!
KOBOLDS sent out SKELETONS!
KOBOLDS sent out NECMANCER!
Well, that's quite the array of forces. Didn't expect the necromancer.
Cleric, use your Turn Undead ability!
Ally CLERIC used TURN UNDEAD!
What? Ally CLERIC is evolving!
Ally CLERIC evolved into CLERLICH!
Oh dear.
Enemy NECROMANCER used COMMAND UNDEAD!
Ally CLERLICH joined enemy NECROMANCER!
Assassin, use your Death Attack! Try to take that necromancer down.
ASSASSIN used DEATH ATTACK!
ASSASSIN died!
Aaaand we're already halfway to a TPK.
Fine. Fighter, use your Spiked chain. Hold them back.
FIGHTER used SPIKED CHAIN!
BLOCKCHAIN was fully SPIKED!
CRYPTO TRANSACTIONS were blocked by SPIKES!
UGLY MONKEY CLUB went into conniptions!
...Do I want to know what any of that meant?
...
...
... NO!
It doesn't affect BATTLE!
Or anything real!
Whatever...
Anyway, time for the big guns! Cloudkill!
WIZARD used CLOUDKILL!
CLOUD STRIFE was fully KILLED!
SEPHIROTH: ... I would've preferred he fall to the darkness. But this works too.
SEPHIROTH joined you!
...Who--
SEPHIROTH used SHADOW FLARE!
SHADOW flared up!
SHADOW is angry!
SEPHIROTH: Good. I sense much darkness in your heart as well.
SHADOW: Are you kidding me? The only darkness in me is bad writing.
SHADOW: I was doing perfectly fine for myself. In the end, I'm me whether or not I'm some robot...
SHADOW: Not to mention that that wasn't even a pump action gun... Damn it, SEGA.
SHADOW: Now it's always Edgy this, Hedgy that, I can't even be the hero anymore, I have to be a darn antihero.
SHADOW: Anyway, if you're looking for Ow the Edge, I suggest looking up "hedgeheg", because it's not me...
SHADOW used INFLAMED RANT!
FLAMING T was RAN through SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH fainted!
... That was a stretch, even for you, Narrator...
HIBER: Don't blame him, the other option was a joke about making them smooch back in the 2000s, and that's not happening...
Uhh... Uh huh. Can we get back to me fighting the Kobolds?
KOBOLDS ran away during FLAMING T INCIDENT!
WIZARD won!
Yay!
... Enemy CLERLICH wants to fight!
... Oh. Oh dear.
Well, here we go again...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Ax Craig tied with Rowdy Teenager Group for coming back to life. I was gonna make a whole tournament out of this (Four is Death and all) ... but then I caught a cold and I do not feel up to it. So here we go.

Battle #50: Beyond the Veil 4/28/2022
Location: Land of the Dead
Player: Ax Craig [0-1-3] Last Battle: #44

... Well, that was most unpleasant.
At least my component atoms appear to be in the right place.
RT1: No they're not. You died too.
RT2: Like C-list fodder.
RT3: Was it worth it?
RT4: Duuude. We don't even get to haunt people here, bummer.
RT5: I tooold you lot it was a bad idea, but did you believe me? Noooo.
Uhh. I'll just. Go over here.
FODE: What's this? Only the version's third place player character?
BEED: He won't be winning third place in lifespan, that's for sure.
Urgh, it's not my fault, there was a Doompuff!
LANCE appeared!
LANCE: ... all things considered, I probably got off lucky, Team Rocket doesn't like me.
Lance? The Dragon Master?
LANCE: Lot of good it did me...
LANCE: ... This place sure is empty. I guess not very many people have died yet.
UNOVA COMBINED ARMS ARMY appeared!
... Above LANCE!
LANCE: I spoke too soon.
UNOVA COMBINED ARMS ARMY used FALL!
LANCE fainted!
GENERAL MAYHEM: Troops, form up!
G.MAYHEM: It's Battle #50! The portal back will open any minute!
G.MAYHEM: If we hurry we can outflank them at the pass and attack again!
... Sir, you do realize you're dead, right?
G.MAYHEM: Of course! But a true soldier's honor never dies!
G.MAYHEM: Also, it's battle #50. Any minute here the portal is gonna open and let one of us out.
Wild PORTAL appeared!
G.MAYHEM: Speak of the...
G.MAYHEM: ...No, that would be tempting fate.
FATE was fully TEMPTED!
DEATH appeared!
DEATH: If you're going back to the land of the living...
DEATH: Tell that hunky dreamboat NAHMan to stop fearing the Reaper so much...
... Um. What!?
DEATH: Oh don't act like you've never had a crush...
Of course I have, but more importantly--
G.MAYHEM: Never mind that! Portal! Let's do battle, let the winner take all!
I don't think--
FODESINBEED sent out PODRACER!
FODE: It's the reigning champion of the Foxfire Deathland Circuit, Fodesinbeed!
BEED: You'll be hard pressed to catch up with us on the way out of dodge.
LANCE: Count me out, Team Rocket would just waste me again...
PODRACER used RACE!
PODRACER RACED for the PORTAL!
CLOUD appeared!
PODRACER's attack continues!
It kept going and crashed! Into CLOUD!
PODRACER fainted!
CLOUD fainted!
FODESINBEED fainted!
Live by the racer, die by the racer... Wait...
RT1: Anyway, it's time I go through that portal!
RT2: You!? I'm the one going through!
RT3: No, I still hadn't even spent my allowance yet!
RT4: Duuude! I wanna spook people! Be all like "Yo I'm undead now!"
RT5: None of you lot deserve to come back to life.
What? RT GROUP is evolving!
RT GROUP evolved into BIG BALL OF VIOLENCE!
How uncivilized...
G.MAYHEM: Yes! A proper battle is decisive!
G.MAYHEM: Now get out of the way and let us through! We have a war to win!
G.MAYHEM wants to fight!
... I don't want to fight!
AX CRAIG ran away!
... Into PORTAL!
It's super effective!
AXCRAIG was revivified!
G.MAYHEM: Oh, come on...
Battle ended!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

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