Pokébattles Foxfire

>> Format
>> Records
>> Archives
>>> (001-100)
>>> Battles 1-5
>>> Battles 6-10
>>> Tournament 1
>>> Battles 11-15
>>> Battles 16-20
>>> Tournament 2
>>> Battles 21-25
>>> Battles 26-30
>>> Fanfic 1
>>> Battles 31-35
>>> Battles 36-40
>>> Tournament 3
>>> Battles 41-45
>>> Battles 46-50
>>> Battles 51-55
>>> War Event 1
>>> Battles 56-60
>>> Battles 61-65
>>> Battles 66-70
>>> Battles 71-75
>>> Battles 76-80
>>> Battles 81-85
>>> Battles 86-90
>>> Battles 91-95
>>> Battles 96-100
>>> (101-200)
>> MIDI Music

Battles 66-70.

<< Older | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | Newer >>

Isekai Ian returns. Does he reflect on himself and how his flaws led him here? Of course not. Instead he resorts to a river in Egypt.

Battle 66: Doomed Desires 8/25/2022
Setting: Isekai Anime 50% / DOOM '93 50%
Player: Isekai Ian [0-1-0] Last Battle: #56

I found the answer!
ISEKIAN found ... ANSWER?
I figured it out. Of course! This isn't M'Mo Online, it's HellBusters Online.
Which ... didn't have a cash shop, darm. But ... It did support the shared premium Nifty items system!
... which seems to be down at the moment. Huh, I thought that was supposed to be impossible.
UGLY MONKEY CLUB is still FLATTENED under PYRAMID!
Okay then. Anyway!
If that's the case, I still know what I can do... Just do it the old fashioned way.
...Grinding...
Wild CACODEMON appeared!
Ooh! Hot demon babe?
Enemy CACODEMON is THE DOOM VERSION!
Enemy CACODEMON is an 8 FOOT DIAMETER ORB with TEETH!
Yeah! Part of the crossover event! Go, Sword!
The enemy's a terrifying flying eye monster! Get'm RIDICULOUS SWORD!
My sword is not ridiculous!
Ugh...
Enemy CACODEMON used FIREBALL!
Enemy CACODEMON is a BALL!
Enemy CACODEMON caught on FIRE!
Oh! Bam, backfire!
Enemy CACODEMON's ATTACK greatly rose!
... Okay, whatever, we still get the first attack!
Sword, Thousand Cuts!
RIDICULOUS SWORD used TEN CUTS!
Hit 1 times!
... One hit... That's it...
Enemy CACODEMON used BITE!
It's not very effective...
Ha! I do know my type advantages!
Steel-types are totally resistant to both Dark and Normal-type attacks!
RIDICULOUS SWORD fainted!
... What?
RIDICULOUS SWORD is less a STEEL type and more a SUPERFICIALLY POLISHED SCRAP METAL type!
Also, RIDICULOUS SWORD has no DEFENSE or HP to speak of!
RIDICULOUS SWORD bent like WET NOODLE!
Guh... Go, Cash Shop Item!?
OAK: ISEKIAN, now is not the time to use that!
...ugh... Go me?
The enemy's a horrible ball of teeth and horns! Get'm ISEKIAN!
... Of course!
The hero's powers always kick in when he's in grave danger!
That even goes back to old shows like Digimon!
... ISEKIAN likes DIGIMON?
Nah, too many characters.
... NARRATOR's SYMPATHY greatly fell!
Enemy CACODEMON's HIDDEN POTENTIAL kicked in!
Enemy CACODEMON unlocked NIGHTMARE DIFFICULTY!
...Wait, what--

Time: Approximately 30 seconds later

... oww...
... Needless to say, ISEKIAN fainted!
Use next POKéMON?

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

I'm alive. Definitely referencing the infamous Star War: The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West and largely unrelated Star Wars: Infinities here.

Battle 67: Backstroke of the Blend 9/3/2022
Setting: Star Wars 70% / PokéBattles 30%
Player: Anakin Skywalker [3-1-2] Last Battle: #44

ANAKIN used WATCH!
ANAKIN is watching BOOTLEG ROTS DVD!
OBIWAN used UNREPEATABLE LANGUAGE!
JEDI COUNCIL was renamed PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH!
Whew... Maaan I don't know where Pirate gets these, but it's gold...
Glad I'm not that Anakin...
ANAKIN turned to DARK SIDE!
... on SCREEN!
MACE WINDU died!
...well that got heavy real fast...
PADME fainted!
OBIWAN wants to fight!
... on SCREEN!
Oh no...
ANAKIN used HI JUMP CUT!
ANAKIN's attack missed!
It kept going and crashed!
... Into OBIWAN's LIGHTSABER!
ANAKIN went to pieces!
ANAKIN was badly burned!
ANAKIN held on using its FOCUS!
What? ANAKIN is evolving!
ANAKIN evolved into DARTHVADER!
... oh no. Oh no no no no.
DARTHVADER: Where is the plum of
PALPATINE: Under your exasperation you killed her
DARTHVADER: Do not want
Oh no oh no oh no... I thought this was my final form...
But that's right, there've been third stage evolutions now, haven't there?! The Mist Stone started it...
PokéDex!?
ANAKIN used GOOGLE POKéDEX!
...In reality!
GOOGLE POKéDEX: Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi Knight Councilmember Pokémon.
GOOGLE POKéDEX: Its hair is amazing, but its emotional maturity is low. It may turn to the Dark Side if people it loves are killed or in danger.
GOOGLE POKéDEX: It evolves to DARTHVADER.
Oh no no no no noooo....
DARTH BLENDER appeared!
DARTH BLENDER: Join the Dark Side. We have great health insurance.
DARTH BLENDER: It even covers lightsaber-based dismemberment and family members!
Oh, is it that good? Tempting...
... Nope nope nope nope. Nope!
DARTH BLENDER: That's okay, I'll just capture you.
DARTH BLENDER wants to fight!
Oh shoot. Go, Lightsaber!
DARTH BLENDER: Still only on one blade? Pah!
DARTH BLENDER sent out ICOSABER!
... That is too many blades...
DARTH BLENDER: That's why they call me Darth Blender.
Oh, I thought that was because you're a blender.
DARTH BLENDER: ... don't remind me...
Enemy ICOSABER used THOUSAND CUTS!
Enemy ICOSABER swung 50 TIMES!
Lightsaber, it has more blades than you, but they're stuck together. Keep your distance and parry!
LIGHTSABER used PARRY!
Enemy ICOSABER was PARRYlized! It may not attack!
DARTH BLENDER: Useless blade...
Enemy DARTH BLENDER withdrew ICOSABER!
Enemy DARTH BLENDER sent out DARTH BLENDER!
Eneny DARTH BLENDER used WILL IT BLEND!
... LIGHTSABER would!
... NARRATOR is tempted to use RELAX-O-VISION...
Needless to say, LIGHTSABER fainted!
Aaaand Threepio's out on vacation...
ANAKIN is out of usable POKéMON!
ANAKIN was dragged out!
... uhh... I don't want to get near it...
Force!
ANAKIN used FORCE!
Enemy DARTH BLENDER used LIQUEFY!
Enemy DARTH BLENDER was FORCED to LIQUEFY!
Enemy DARTH BLENDER's DEFENSE greatly rose!
...But, enemy DARTH BLENDER fainted!
... Yeah, it didn't look like a Vaporeon or a Muk...
ANAKIN gained 5463 EXP. Points!
What? ANAKIN is evolving!
Wait. What? Nnnnoooooo--
Congratulations! Your ANAKIN evolved into INFINITIES ROTJ ANAKIN!
...what.
ANAKIN won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Pokémon Red and Blue aren't quite required reading, but a good amount of familiarity with them will be helpful for this battle...

Battle 68: Flashtest HM in the West 9/8/2022
Setting: Game 50% / Comic Books 50%
Player: HM05 [No Record]

HM05!
HM05!
He's the fastest man alive!
HM05 appeared!
My word, it's a Narrator. I've heard of these fiendish entities!
HM05 ran away!
It didn't affect NARRATOR!
I, HM05, am the fastest man alive! You won't defeat me just by following me...
ASH appeared!
ASH: It's gonna eat me...!!!
ASH ran away!
MEWTWO appeared, wearing BIB and carrying FORK and KNIFE!
MEWTWO ran away!
HM05 was left spinning!
... to be fair, those were a boy and a Pokémon.
Enemy WARTORTLE appeared!
Oh! That's a rare Pokémon. I should catch it.
Enemy WARTORTLE is NOT a WARTORTLE!
Aha! Not just a Wartortle, but my old rival, The Wartortle!
Slow and steady shan't win the race this time!
WARTORTLE: I
...You?
WARTORTLE: AM
...
WARTORTLE: THE
...Narrator, is this guy okay?...
WARTORTLE: SLOWEST
WARTORTLE wants to fight!
Well if it's a fight you want, then..
WARTORTLE: MAN
...
WARTORTLE: ALIVE
Enemy WARTORTLE sent out WARTORTLE!
No Pokémon?
I shall also send out myself, then!
Go! HM05!
... But, WARTORTLE is actually a WARTORTLE!
I thought you said he sent out himself.
Enemy WARTORTLE is a supervillain!
Enemy WARTORTLE sent out WARTORTLE!
WARTORTLE is a POKéMON!
HM05 is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
...Ow.
Enemy WARTORTLE used SURF!
Enemy WARTORTLE went SURFING!
... Enemy WARTORTLE wiped out!
Enemy WARTORTLE fainted!
Enemy WARTORTLE is angry!
Enemy WARTORTLE sent out WARTORTLE!
I will use my HM05.
HM05 used HM05!
HM05's attack missed!
... Not surprising considering HM05's ACCURACY is just 38%!
Enemy WARTORTLE used WAR!
Enemy WARTORTLE declared WAR!
... Enemy WARTORTLE is going through PAPERWORK ...
Let's try again... HM05... The item this time...
Booted up an HM!
It contained FLASH!
Teach FLASH to a POKéMON?
Yes! To the enemy Wartortle.
It's a useless undeletable move anyway... Just fill up his move slots...
Enemy WARTORTLE learned FLASH!
...He only knew three moves!?
Enemy WARTORTLE used FLASH!
Enemy WARTORTLE completed PAPERWORK in a FLASH!
WARTORTLE: SLOW
TORTLE ARMY appeared!
WARTORTLE: AND
Thaaat is a lot of turtles.
WARTORTLE: STEADY
Fortunately for me, I am the fastest man alive!
WARTORTLE: WINS
HM05 ran away!
WARTORTLE: THE
...
WARTORTLE: RACE!
WARTORTLE won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Abaddon is not associated with envy in any major demonology source I'm aware of, but I needed an Envy and I didn't want to use Leviathan.

Battle 69: Green with Envy 9/15/2022
Location: Envy Ring
Player: Abaddon, Demon Prince of Envy [No Record]

A curse on all the surface worlders and people outside Envy...
A curse on all those above me in Hell for having less severe punishments and less complicated workloads...
A curse on all those lower down for having more interesting punishments to dole out and receive...
A curse on all the damned, for no longer needing to make choices in their unlives...
A curse on all the lords and royals of Hell and on all bosses for having better jobs and more power than me...
A curse on those who came here unexpectedly for surviving Doompuff or dying to its terrible visage in person...
A curse on the Narrator and Webmaster, for their power over us all...
A curse on those whom the Narrator visits, for their interesting lives...
And a curse on all those who have arms, for having arms when I don't!
NARRATOR appeared!
... A curse on those whom the Narrator doesn't visit! For their ability to live their lives in peace!
... NARRATOR hasn't even BEGUN to torment ABADDON!
I'm still envious of people who aren't me! You know how it is, of course you know how it is!
The grass is always, always greener on the wrong side of the fence...
Everything I touch turns to ash in my hands or mouth!
ABADDON has no HANDS!
ABADDON'S ARMS are MISSING!
...Metaphorically!
Even if I had arms, they'd be useless.
TERRA appeared!
... Green...
A curse on you for having better hair than me!
TERRA wants to fight!
Of course. A curse on all those blessed with peace...
Go, Green-Eyed Monster...
Go! GREENEYEDM!
A curse on you who establish name length limits and those of you who do not deal with them...
Enemy TERRA sent out MINOS!
A curse on you, Minos, for your role as judge among the damned, able to bear witness to all sins!
Enemy MINOS says that ABADDON is welcome to VISIT!
... you know how it is. It's not the same. Fence, grass, greener... With envy... A curse on you for reminding me...
Green-Eyed Monster, use Othello...
GREENEYEDM used OTHELLO!
GREENEYEDM is playing OTHELLO with MINOS!
...GREENEYEDM lost!
GREENEYEDM's ENVY greatly rose!
Even in loss, you just amplify its power...
A curse on it for gaining power from envy ... wait...
ABADDON's ENVY rose!
That... Applies to me too...
A curse on those who have powers that raise from emotions other than envy...
Enemy MINOS used LABYRINTH!
GREENEYEDM was cast into LABYRINTH!
GREENEYEDM was blown away!
Urgh. I'm so envious. The other demon lords don't have to deal with this sort of thing, a curse on them for it...!
Go, me...
The enemy's the judge of the damned! Get'm ABADDON!
TERRA says he can put you where BELPHEGOR and BEELZEBUB are!
... elaborate.
TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
Congratulations! ABADDON was caught!
... have I been tricked...
YES!
A curse on everyone who isn't trapped in a Pokéball...!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

Sam Excavator hasn't been seen since his untimely death at Doompuff's jaws at the end of the War Event. But deaths in the War Event seem to have been by and large subverted...

Battle 70: Lost Souls in Paradise 9/22/2022
Setting: Detective Fiction 40% / Angelology 25% / Anime 20% / Star Wars 10% /
Player: Sam Excavator, Private Investigator [5-2-2] Last Battle: War Event #1

It was a hot night in the City of Angels when a glowing blonde with eyes for days and curves in all the places rolled into my office. She had a lot of eyes. And she was a real wheel of a dame.
OPHAN: ...
OPHAN: ... how did you even get here...
I recounted the circumstances that led to my arrival...

Time: Some Time Prior

I'd been torn like paper in a metal shredder, but nonetheless, here I was, in complete awareness of my faculties and without a scratch on me. Signs of a scuffle nearby were revealed by my keen investigative eye to be the result of an all too familiar green-haired punk playing a snake-tailed and donkey-eared man of obviously high class like a New Orleans concertina choir with brass knuckles.
... Or SAMXCVT read ARCHIVES!
Naturally, divulging my secrets would put me out of a job, so instead I flipped a long haul back toward Chigago. But two things happened along the way:
First, I learned the whole city'd gone up like O'Leary's cow had gotten boiled as an owl on horse liniment and tarantula juice and made like a firebug in a powder mill.
Second, I happened to cross paths with the two renegades in front of me. One of them was a young man in slippers with a tiger-print bandage on his head and an old-fashioned hand canopy, the other, a diminutive naturalist with a face like a bald falcon and a pair of ears that looked like they could hear a senator making graft from the far side of Arlington.
RYOUGA HIBIKI: ...
RYOUGA HIBIKI: ... Is ... he talking about us? Did you understand a word of that?
NEVA KEE: ...Keeee! Chuba!
Naturally, I fell in with the two of them while I was beating my way back towards a stable office.
RYOUGA HIBIKI: Wait, what--
Time: Present

RYOUGA HIBIKI: ...and that's how we ended up here...
RYOUGA HIBIKI: He never stops talking... He even talks in his sleep...
RYOUGA HIBIKI: Eventually we got here and he ... got in touch with the local mob, or, something, and now we run a detective agency, I guess?...
RYOUGA HIBIKI: I'm pretty sure he thinks we're in California and I can't say we're not.
OPHAN: ...
OPHAN: We have a mob?
HEAVEN has MOB!
MOB is full of GOODFELLAS!
... Speaking of which, DOOR fainted!
GOODFELLA appeared!
GOODFELLA: Okay, squealer, wese got youse the office, and you go and rat us out to the thrones?
GOODFELLA wants to fight!
Enemy GOODFELLA sent out RAY GUN!
It was a genuine Flash Gordon thermo-atomic ray gun, the kind popular with caniform gangsters in the Big Easy. I imagine it would've been a Thompson, but they don't take kindly to those in the Land of Milk and Honey.
Ally RYOUGA HIBIKI sent out RYOUGA HIBIKI!
Ally NEVA KEE sent out NEVA KEE!
I knew things were about to get very hot at a speed normally only met in a Kentucky derby. Having long since been ridded of most of my earthly possessions, I resorted to the slug I kept close to my heart.
Go! SLUGMA!
OPHAN: ... on the one hand, you are not supposed to be here. On the other hand, neither are organized crime...
OPHAN wants to fight!
... Both you and enemy GOODFELLA!
OPHAN sent out OPHAN!
Enemy RAY GUN used RAY!
RAY appeared!
RAY: ... Gol dang horse feather Vulpies and Golbies and Gristlies and Fishyus--
RAY is confused!
It hurt enemy RAY GUN in its confusion!
Enemy RAY GUN fainted!
The three-way standoff had become more complicated still with the abrupt addition of a fourth party. It was like "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly," only I was also present.
OPHAN:... This is getting worse all the time... That's a fourth breach...
OPHAN used FLAMETHROWER!
OPHAN threw FLAME EMAILS at SAMXCVT, GOODFELLA, RAY, NEVA KEE, RYOUGA HIBIKI!
It was the harshest and sternest lecture I'd had in my life. I'd have taken a switching from my old schoolteacher first in a heartbeat.
SAMXCVT'S MORALE greatly fell!
Enemy GOODFELLA's MORALE greatly fell!
RAY's MORALE greatly fell!
It doesn't affect ally NEVA KEE!
Ally RYOUGA HIBIKI's MORALE greatly fell!
Of course, I knew my comrade in yellow had tricks up his sleeve that would kick in right about then.
Ally RYOUGA HIBIKI used SHISHI HOKODAN!
Critical hit!
Enemy GOODFELLA was blown away!
Enemy OPHAN was blown away!
With two newly cut windows in the side of my office, the light poured in like water from a broken dam. Great for health, yes, but terribe for my atmosphere.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.

<< First | < Older | Main Archive | Newer > | Latest >>