Poké Battles: Foxfire Version
Foxfire Version: Official Battles

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>>> Battles 21-25
>>> Battles 26-30
>>> Fanfic 1
>>> Battles 31-35
>>> Battles 36-40
>>> Tournament 3
>>> Battles 41-45
>>> Battles 46-50
>>> Battles 51-55
>>> War Event 1
>> MIDI Music

Phantom Version: Fan Battles
Amber Version: Historical Archives
Network: Community Content & Fansites

Battles 36-40 are a mixture of filler, further fallout of the events of the fanfic, and advancements of what might ultimately resolve that.

<< Older | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | Newer >>


Attila and Hun are a pair of obscure Team Rocket members from the made-for-TV anime movie / TV special "The Legend of Thunder!" Given this series' propensity to intermittently use historical figures, here's them beating up on their historical namesake.

Battle 36: Attila and Hun 1/20/2022
Setting: Anime 50% / History 25% / Age of Empires II 25%
Player: Attila the Hun [no record]


Honoria! I am coming for you. If Rome should stand in my way I shall bash through its walls, for I am the Scourge of God!
HUN appeared!
Yes! The horde is many. And for Honoria's hand we strike at dawn tomorrow.
ATTILA appeared!
...I was already here.
ATHUN is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
You shall suffer dearly for this, red text.
ATTILA wants to fight!
HUN wants to fight!
You dare betray me? Are you not of the Huns?
ATTILA was renamed TRATTILA!
HUN was renamed TRHUN!
TRHUN: No, we were always with Team Rocket...
Enemy TRATTILA sent out SKARMORTAR!
Enemy TRHUN sent out DIMONIX!
Go, my loyal Tarkans! Set your ropes to them and tear them limb from limb!
Go! TARKANS!
Enemy SKARMORTAR used MORTAR!
But, it failed!
Enemy SKARMORTAR lacks PESTLE!
Enemy DIMONIX used CRUNCH!
It's CRUNCH time!
Enemy DIMONIX is studying!
Tarkans, do not forgive! Burn them all alive!
TARKANS used BURN!
TARKANS said enemy SKARMORTAR is more rusty and impractical than AIRACUDA!
It's super effective!
Enemy SKARMORTAR fainted!
TARKANS said enemy DIMONIX looks more like CUBICZIRCONIX!
Enemy DIMONIX is studying!
Enemy DIMONIX didn't hear!
TARKANS's attack missed!
A thousand curses in a litany!
Cease this insult warfare and put it to the sword!

TARKANS used SWORD!
TARKANS said the S WORD!
UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD appeared!
UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD used CHAIN LIGHTNING!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
TARKANS fainted!
Enemy DIMONIX unleashed knowledge!
Enemy DIMONIX got 53%!
Enemy DIMONIX fainted!
Ha... Fine! Go my cavalry archers!
ATHUN sent out CAVARCHERS!
Enemy TRATTILA sent out SOLAREON!
Enemy TRHUN sent out LUNAREON!
... They're literally Espeon and Umbreon.
YES!
... NO!
NARRATOR is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
HIBER: They're Espeon and Umbreon as they existed in the minds of '90s kids before they were officially released stateside... or at all.
HIBER instantly snapped NARRATOR out of confusion!
HIBER ran away!
Right, then. Horse archers, use your Parthian Tactics!
CAVARCHERS used PARTHIAN TACTICS!
CAVARCHERS's attack missed!
CAVARCHERS's EVADE rose!
Enemy SOLAREON used MORNING SUN!
MORNING SUN got in CAVARCHERS's eyes!
CAVARCHERS's ACCURACY fell!
At this rate it'll turn into a turkey shoot...
TURKEY appeared!
TURKEY: Am I late for the Thanksgiving ba--
TURKEY was shot!
... By PAPARAZZI!
TURKEY ran away!
Never mind that! Cavalry archers, use hit and run tactics!
CAVARCHERS used HIT!
CAVARCHERS's attack missed!
Of course it did...
CAVARCHERS used RUN!
CAVARCHERS ran away!
... Cursed cowards! I'll --
UNDEAD RSCACi CLOUD used THUNDERCLAP!
-- Wth a rusty spoon!!
And as for you lot!
I shall deal with you in person!
Go, me!

IMPOSTER PROFESSOR OAK: ATHUN! Now is not the time to-- Ggck!?
DARKSTEVE used FORCE CHOKE!
IMPOSTER PROFESSOR OAK was FORCED to CHOKE on its words!
It's super effective!
DARKSTEVE: Sorry about that, this guy's slippery...
IMPOSTER PROFESSOR OAK ran away!
DARKSTEVE ran away!
The enemy's openly hacking! Get'm ATHUN!
Do you know why they call me the Scourge of God?
ATHUN used SCOURGE OF GOD!
HIBER: I don't have a whip and it's way too soon to release a Doompuff spinoff.
ATHUN's attack missed!
HIBER ran away!
... The Huns need no gods! I'll put you to the sword myself!
ATHUN used PUT TO SWORD!
ATHUN put enemy SOLAREON and LUNAREON up to say the S WORD!
Enemy SOLAREON and LUNAREON can't speak!
ATHUN's attack failed!
What, that pun again...!? I'll --
Enemy SOLAREON used SOLARBEAM!
ATHUN was BEAMED with a SOLAR PANEL!
OW
Enemy LUNAREON used MOONLIGHT!
Enemy LUNAREON is MOONLIGHTING!
Enemy LUNAREON's ¥ rose!
How dare you! I'll lily your liver with a sharpened--
ATHUN used LITANY OF CURSES!
UNDEAD RSACi CLOUD used THUNDERBOLT!
Critical hit!
ATHUN fainted! Use next Pokémon?

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


Brazenly inspired by Blue Version Battle #24 by Gannon2000 and The Great Train Robbery by Edwin Porter. Jesse James is also in black and white here, though I didn't remember to make a gag about that. Maybe later.
Have Jessie and James beating up on their namesake. I still don't think I can do the Rocket Trio justice at all, either the original anime versions or the PB versions. This also has a lot of recycled Pokémon in-jokes, probably.

Battle 37: The Great Train Rocketry 1/27/2022
Setting: Anime 50% / Silent Film 50%
Player: James from Team Rocket [0-1-0]


JESSEJAMES appeared!
Oh look, a rival gangster.
Are you here to join the illustrious Team Rocket!?

JESSEJAMES says you stole his name!
JESSEJAMES wants to fight!
All right then, Jessie, let's go!
JESSIE: Prepare for trouble!
And make it dou--
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
TRMOTTO fainted!
Hey, that's our motto!
Enemy JESSEJAMES sent out GANGSTER!
Go, Koffid-19!
GO! KOFFID-19!
Ally JESSIE sent out EKAKNAP!
Koffid-19, use your Koff attack!
KOFFID-19 used KOFF!
Enemy GANGSTER has a KOFF!
Enemy GANGSTER was sent to QUARANTINE!
That's it, Koffid-19, the more we can lock down the better, keep it--
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
KOFFID-19 fainted!
Hey, that's not fair!
Enemy JESSEJAMES sent out HORSE!
Ally EKAKNAP used FLAT!
Ally EKAKNAP is flat!
It didn't affect enemy HORSE!
Foo.
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
Ally EKAKNAP fainted!
No way, that's two for two!
Go, Vitreebel!

JAMES sent out VICTREEBEL!
VICTREEBEL used DEVOUR...
... on JAMES!
-- Tenruboelivedehterasdikruofdnattenruboel!?!?!
Ally JESSIE sent out LUIGI!
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
BELLMITT fainted!
!!! Okay, I know Bellmitt always eats me but that's going too far!
LUIGI: Mama mia!
LUIGI ran away!
Fine! Round three!
Ally JESSIE sent out WOBBUFFET!
JAMES sent out PORYGON0!
...They're unevolved too?
Well, we tried to evolve Zero, but it turns out zero times two or Z or a hundred still all equals zero.
Enemy HORSE used HORSE!
Enemy HORSE is HOARSE!
Enemy HORSE was sent to QUARANTINE!
I take absolutely no credit for this.
Enemy JESSEJAMES is angry!
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
Enemy JESSEJAMES used REVOLVER!
It's not very effective...
It's not very effective...
Enemy JESSEJAMES' attack missed!
Enemy JESSEJAMES is out of usable BULLETS!
Now's our chance! Porygon Zero, use--
Enemy JESSEJAMES pulled out FOUR MORE REVOLVERS!
--Banned Episode Tactics!
PORYGON0 used BANNED EPISODE TACTICS!
NARRATOR used CUT!
BANNED EPISODE TACTICS were fully CUT!

Time: Precisely 30 seconds later

Enemy JESSEJAMES fainted!
... So you're saying that guns like they banned it for are fine, but using the tickle machine we used then gets us offscreened!?
...
...
... YES!
Well what kind of sense does that make!?
...
...
NARRATOR ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


This battle was written as an example of PokéBattles for the Pokémon University Discord. But I decided was good enough (very short as it is) and it also low key sets up some other stuff. I may not be available on Thursday so the update comes now.

Battle #38: Attack of the Mew 2/1/2022
Setting: Game 100% / Reality 0%
Player: Blue "Gary" Oak [no record]


Wild MEW appeared!
All right! Now's my chance to capture a Mew!
Go! Wartortle!

Go! WARTORTLE!
Wartortle, use Bubblebeam!
WARTORTLE used BUBBLEBEAM!
Enemy MEW was BEAMed with a BUBBLE!
BUBBLE popped!
It doesn't affect enemy MEW!
Enemy MEW used POUND!
WARTORTLE was sent to the POUND!
Oh shoot, that'll be trouble to get it back out. Go, Raticate!
The enemy's the ancestor of all living POKéMON! Get'm RATICATE!
Raticate use Super Fang!
RATICATE used SUPER FANG!
RATICATE brushed its FANGs!
RATICATE's FANGs are SUPER!
Yeah, they're real nice... But you need to actually fight.
Enemy MEW used TRANSFORM!
RATICATE was FOURIER TRANSFORMED!
RATICATE was rendered down to COMPONENT SINE WAVES!
...Needless to say, RATICATE died!
Ooooh no. Not Raticate...!
Nope, no more, mythic or no this isn't worth my Pokémon.
Smell you later!...

GARY ran away!

Taking potshots at something that became popular about halfway between the start of PokéBattles and the present. This battle's been sitting a quarter written in my buffer for a while, but with last week's battle and where Steve was last time, it's also sort of relevant.

Battle 39: Burying the Hatchet 2/10/2022
Setting: Game 80% / Internet 20%
Player: Steve "Darksteve" Simmons [2-2-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Rocket Grunt (#33)


BURIED ALIVE appeared!
Oh ew, what is that?
BURIED ALIVE: You're here... I'm trapped...
I swear if this is some sort of prank.
BURIED ALIVE: And I'm lonely... So very lonely...
Wait, I've seen this before somewhere.
BURIED ALIVE: Won't you join me?
Oh my gosh it's that thing. I thought it was 1999, not 2010...
BURIED ALIVE wants to fight!
Yeah, well, by the time I'm done with you they'll be calling you Buried Dead... 'Cause you'll be dead.
Enemy BURIED ALIVE sent out GENGAR!
Gengar? Easy, go me...
Go! DARKSTEVE!
Dark side attack!
DARKSTEVE used DARKSIDE!
DARKSTEVE ran over enemy GENGAR with a SEMI TRUCK!
Enemy GENGAR fainted!
...What.
TWISTED METAL 3! Buy it today! Rated T for TEEN!
Well, I'm not arguing it.
Enemy BURIED ALIVE sent out WHITE HAND!
Eww, that's even worse than Gold Finger.
Me, return! Go! Grimer!

The enemy's a rotten disembodied hand! Get'm GRIMER!
Grimer, use Sticky Hands!
GRIMER used STICKY HANDS!
Enemy WHITE HAND is sticky! It may get stuck!
Attaboy, Grimer.
Enemy WHITE HAND used FIST!
Enemy WHITE HAND made a FIST!
Enemy WHITE HAND is sticky!
Enemy WHITE HAND can't unchench FIST!
That's it, Grimer, now finish it off with a Sludge attack!
GRIMER used SLUDGE!
Enemy WHITE HAND became SLUDGE!
Enemy WHITE HAND fainted!
Wow, it was really rotten...
Enemy BURIED ALIVE sent out WHITE HAND!
Another one? That's original.
Enemy WHITE HAND used BRUTAL!
Enemy WHITE HAND whipped out GUITAR!
Enemy WHITE HAND played some BRUTAL METAL RIFFS!
GRIMER is headbanging!
...Wooow, that's some serious shredding.
Enemy WHITE HAND is SHREDDING!
Enemy WHITE HAND fell to SHREDS!
WHITE HAND: ... \m/
Enemy WHITE HAND fainted!
GRIMER is headbanging!
It kept going and crashed!
... into CONVENIENT STEEL BAR!
GRIMER's HEAD was fully BANGED!
GRIMER fainted!
Dangit.
Enemy BURIED ALIVE sent out MUK!
Well that makes things easier. Go, Cloyster!
The enemy's horribly overleveled! Go! CLOYSTER!
Enemy MUK used ACID ARMOR!
Enemy MUK is wearing ACID for ARMOR!
It's not very effective...
Enemy MUK was burned by ACID!
Huuuh.
Cloyster, use Filter!

CLOYSTER used FILTER!
Enemy MUK was filtered of MUCK!
Enemy MUK was renamed -C!
Enemy -C is BELOW 0 C!
Enemy -C was frozen!
Okay, great, now--
Enemy -C's frozen solid!
Enemy -C's hurt by the burn!
Enemy -C fainted!
I have never seen a health bar scroll that long and far before...
DARKSTEVE won!
Sweeeet.
...

...
...
...
...Sooo... Why isn't the battle done.
BURIED ALIVE: Oh, that's because my script doesn't actually have an ending.
BURIED ALIVE: So basically you either lose and I eat you or you win and I crash the game.
BURIED ALIVE: Preferably the former. I'm so lonely and I want fresh meat...
Wait what the heck aren't you supposed to be the Lavender Tower boss...
That's like super off tone.

BURIED ALIVE: I'm a badly written edgy ghost story, I don't have to be on tone.
BURIED ALIVE: Anyway, I'm gonna crash the game now. I'll be here when you reload, and I'll get you one of these times...!
Enemy BURIED ALIVE used GAME CRASH!
... But, it failed!
HIBER: No breaking the universe. -,..,-
...Oh boy.
HIBER instantly snapped BURIED ALIVE in half!
HIBER burned BURIED HALVES into SMOKE!
HIBER threw BURIED SMOKE into HOCAKT!
Holy guacamole. Someone had an ax to grind.
HIBER: Okay, aside from the fact he tried to break the universe and I steadfastly refuse to do anything like past versions' apocalypse arcs...
HIBER: He could've at least pretended to have played the games. "Scripts"? "Models"? On a GameBoy?
HIBER: That said, I'm here to be entertaining, not go on an author tract.
TOO LATE!
HIBER used AUTHOR TRACT!
HUGE TRACT OF LAND fell on AUTHOR!
HIBER: Ow. Well, I asked for that.
So, uh... do I get the win for beating him or what?
HIBER: Yes. This battle's gone on too long anyway.
DARKSTEVE won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


Lord Sloth and Emperor Sloth were major characters of PokéBattles: Red Version, and Lord Sloth was also the author of Sloth Version and co-author of Slime Version, both available in the Amber Archive. Captain Sloth is tribute to Lord Sloth. "A Drop of Nelson's Blood," also known as "Roll the Old Chariot Along," is a very old traditional sea shanty.

Battle 40: Sea Shanty Shenanigans 2/17/2022
Location: Open Seas
Player: Captain Sloth [no record]


♪ And we'll roll the old chariot along, ♫
(♪ And we'll roll the old chariot along, ♫)
♪ And we'll roll the old chariot along, ♫
♪ And we'll all hang on behind! ♫

CAPSLOTH used SHANTY!
It's super effective!
Why thank ye.
Chanties are a wonderful thing.

NARRATOR used WONDER!
NARRATOR wonders whether CAPSLOTH is a PIRATE!
Perish the thought! Captain Sloth, of Captain Sloth Shipping, at ye service. I won't have talk of pirates here!
CORSAIR appeared!
Now, see, that be a pirate.
And that be why we not speak of them here.

CORSAIR wants to fight!
Enemy CORSAIR sent out CORSAIR!
Ooh. Gull wings.
I will send out my chanty, then. Go, Roll the Old Chariot Along!

The enemy's the terror of the Pacific! Go! RTOCA!
♪ And a roll in the clover wouldn't do us any harm... ♫
RTOCA used ROLL IN CLOVER!
Enemy CORSAIR did a roll!
It kept going and crashed!
... Into CLOVER!
Enemy CORSAIR fainted!
CLOVER is angry!
Big monster? Let's not ye and me be enemies. It was them what crashed the plane into ye.
CLOVER wants to fight!
... Enemy CORSAIR!
Now, quickly, while they're tied up like that, we make sail and run away!
♪ Oh, we'd be all right if the wind was in our sails... ♫

RTOCA used WIND IN SAILS!
It's super effective!
CAPSLOTH ran away!
Phew, it's my win... That's what comes when ye speak of the Devil, red voice.
...
... I just did it didn't I.
DEVIL appeared!
...!!!
DEVIL wants to fight!
♪ Well if the Devil's in our way, then we'll roll right over him...!! ♫
RTOCA used ROLL OVER DEVIL!
Enemy DEVIL was fully ROLLED OVER!
Enemy DEVIL fainted!
CAPSLOTH ran away!
Now, red voice, both ye and me better watch our mouths...
But me goal here be met. To make to safe harbor!

...NARRATOR will accept this logic!
CAPSLOTH won!
♪ And we'll all hang on behind! ♫

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


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