Poké Battles: Foxfire Version
Foxfire Version: Official Battles

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Phantom Version: Fan Battles
Amber Version: Historical Archives
Network: Community Content & Fansites

Battles 46-50 are a mixed bag. #46 is more Rocket Doompuff arc, a montage. #47 and #48 have Hiber as a major focus - dealing with authorial frustrations and the PokéBattles 23rd Anniversary. #49 is filler, and #50 continues the proud PokéBattles tradition of bringing someone back to life every 50 battles.

<< Older | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | Newer >>


You've definitely seen the state of fantasy and isekai anime recently.

Battle 56: Isekai Insanity 6/16/2022
Setting: Anime 100%
Player: Isekai Ian [No Record]


Wild TRUCK appeared!
Well, it's right at the start of my first episode, so that can only mean one thing.
Oh no, that little girl's chasing her balloon into its path~

TRUCK used LOOKBOTHWAYS!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
ISEKIAN died!


Location: ???


ISEKIAN appeared!
Wooo... Obligatory reincarnation out of the way...
Nooow... Time to romance like seven hot babes at once while rofflestomping everything in my path.

DARKSTEVE appeared!
DARKSTEVE: Dude, that's not gonna happen...
Sure it is. You seen the Demon King anywhere? I gotta beat him up.
DARKSTEVE: Uhh... Which one... DARKSTEVE: Like, Piccolo, Magus, maybe one of the evil Digimon...
You know, generic background ultimate evil with exactly as much personality as I have?
DARKSTEVE: ... Uh, no, I got nothing.
DARKSTEVE: What do you even plan to do? You look like an ordinary high school / college student...
Well, that's the genius! I am an ordinary high school / college student!
Which naturally means that here I have superlative magical and combat prowess thanks to my 1337 g4m3r sk1llz..
And also a smartphone.

ISEKIAN sent out SMARTPHONE!
0 bars reception!
What.
Also, SMARTPHONE was SNAPPED IN HALF by enemy TRUCK!
Whaaaaat!?
But how am I supposed to lord it over the fantasy world locals and generic goblins without a smartphone!?

DARKSTEVE used LAUGHTER!
Don't laugh. Grrr... I'll use my m4d g4m3r m4j1k on you...!
DARKSTEVE's LAUGHTER is building!
DARKSTEVE is ROTFLing!
Oh come on...
DARKSTEVE got up!
DARKSTEVE: Dude I used to be you... And I'm glad I'm not now...
You think I'm funny? Well then, guess what, we've made eye contact so bring it!
ISEKIAN wants to fight!
DARKSTEVE: ... Your half-your-money I guess.
Go, Sword!
ISEKIAN sent out RIDICULOUS SWORD!
DARKSTEVE: ... What's with that thing? It looks super overdesigned, the blade's not even the right shape, it's too wide to be wieldy...
DARKSTEVE: It's too big to use as a sword and the wrong shape to use as an axe...
DARKSTEVE: And let's not even get into what's wrong with the hilt and guard...
... It's cool, okay!? It's an authentic replica of the Hero's Magic Sword from M'Mo Online!
...Anyway, uhh... Sword, use Slash!

RIDICULOUS SWORD used SlASH!
RIDICULOUS SWORD is writing SLASH FIC!
Enemy LIGHTSABER used SLASH!
Enemy LIGHTSABER slashed RIDICULOUS SWORD's BUDGET for SLASH FIC!
RIDICULOUS SWORD can't even afford PEN!
RIDICULOUS SWORD fell into despair!
RIDICULOUS SWORD fainted!
Oh come on... I've ground so many levels with that sword in M'Mo Online!
Fine, go Cash Shop Item!

Go! PTW GARBAGE!
What! That's not what I said!
... Cash Shop Item, use Power of Money!

PTW GARBAGE used PAY-TO-WIN!
PTW GARBAGE PAID...
... the PRICE for encouraging PTW!
PTW GARBAGE lost!
PTW fainted!
Okay this isn't even remotely fair.
Neither is PAY-TO-WIN!
ISEKIAN has no ROOM to COMPLAIN!
Yes I do, I'm supposed to be hooking up with like twelve girls and beating up the demon king right now.
I mean, this doesn't even look like M'Mo.

DARKSTEVE: That's because it's not...
... Eh?
DARKSTEVE: Yeah uh... We're in Foxfire Version...
DARKSTEVE: Which kind of got shunted whole into Hell to run away from Doompuff...
DARKSTEVE: Yeah so tl;dr you died and went to the bad place.
No... You can't be serious...
DARKSTEVE is correct!
ISEKIAN was ISEKAID to HELL!
ISEKIAN lost!
All that time level grinding, just to go to waste...!?
NOOOOOOOOO!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


If there is any tree in the real world that can be truly said to "want to fight", it is absolutely the Sandbox Tree. There are also others.

Battle 57: Hazards of Logging
Setting: Reality 80% / Hell 20%
Player: Ax Craig [1-1-3] Last Battle: #50


Well, it's a beautiful day.
CLOUD appeared!
CLOUD used ACID RAIN!
Cloudy with sporadic acid showers and a chance of fiery hail...
Dangerous, sure, but beautiful.

Enemy SANDBOXTREE appeared!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE wants to fight!
Well, that's a thorny problem.
Enemy SANDBOXTREE sent out THORNS!
Go, Hatchet!
The enemy's spiky and dangerous! Get'm HATCHET!
Enemy THORNS used IMPALE!
It's not very effective...
I would imagine not. It's hardened steel.
Hatchet, scrape them off!

HATCHET used SCRAPE!
It's super effective!
Enemy THORNS fainted!
Enemy THORNS used FINAL ATTACK: POISON SAP!
HATCHET fainted!
... It was poisoned...
... Wait, aren't Steel-types supposed to be immune to poison!?

Yes!
And yet, HATCHET remains fainted!
AXCRAIG sent out AXYes! Ax!
... AXCRAIG used INTERRUPT!
It's super effective!
Go! AX!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE sent out SANDBOXTREE!
Ax! Hack!
AX used HACK!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE's BANKACCOUNT was fully HACKED!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE's EMPLOYMENTHISTORY was fully HACKED!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE's MEDICALRECORDS was fully HACKED!
It doesn't affect enemy SANDBOXTREE!
Huh... It doesn't actually have any of those things...
Enemy SANDBOXTREE is a TREE!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE used FALL!
GRENADEFRUIT fell on AX!
Critical hit!
Hit 5 times!
AX fainted!
Well bother.
GRENADEFRUIT fell on AXCRAIG!
Hit 2 times!
AXCRAIG was poisoned!
...Oh dear.
Send out which POKéMON?
Hrmm... Go, Chainsaw... Time for the big guns.
The enemy's a monster of a tree! Get'm CHAINSAW!
Chainsaw, use Saw!
CHAINSAW used SAW!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE went to pieces!
It's not very effective...
Vegetation...
Enemy SANDBOXTREE used SANDBOX!
CHAINSAW was put in BOX and sent to SANDYVERSION!
... Oh dear.
AXCRAIG is out of usable POKéMON!
AXCRAIG was dragged out!
... Hm. Well, it's all I've got left. Dangerous forbidden technique time...
Dynamite logging!

AXCRAIG used DYNAMITE LOGGING!
AXCRAIG instantly split enemy SANDBOXTREE in half!
Enemy SANDBOXTREE fainted!
...
...
... Phew.
... AXCRAIG had better not be another DOOMPUFFSPINOFF!
That STORYARC was just resolved!
Sheesh, it's just dynamite...
AXCRAIG won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


I slapped this battle together in about half an hour before posting it. Anyone who's played Age of Empires II and either won as or lost to the Goths knows exactly what's going on here...

Battle #58: Gothic Gambit 6/30/2022
Setting: Age of Empires II 90% / Game 10%
Player: Theodoric the Goth [No Record]


ATHUN appeared!
... Didn't you kill me historically? I don't want to fight you.
ATHUN wants to fight!
You always were bloodthirsty...
Enemy ATHUN sent out TARKAN!
Fine, fine, you got me. Go, Huskarl.
Go! HUSKARL!
Enemy TARKAN used TORCH!
It's not very effective...
Of course it's not, we may use men for walls but they're still people...
Huskarl, use Stab.
And go, Huskarl.

HUSKARL used STAB!
It's not very effective...
Go! HUSKARL!
Hmm.
Enemy TARKAN used FLAMETHROWER!
Critical hit!
HUSKARL fainted!
Huh? That's not in the Tarkan learnset, is it?
Oh, and go Huskarl.

Go! HUSKARL!
Enemy ATHUN says he found it lying around OLDER BATTLES!
Enemy ATHUN says the GAG tried to RUN! But he caught it!
Enemy TARKAN used FLAMETHROWER!
HUSKARL is in critical condition!
Mhmm...
Huskarl, use stab.
And go Huskarl.

HUSKARL used STAB!
HUSKARL used STAB!
Hit 2 times!
Enemy TARKAN fainted!
Do it! HUSKARL!
Enemy ATHUN says that's cheating!
No it isn't, I'm a goth, we get +10 to population limit.
Speaking of which, go, Huskarl.

The enemy's demoralized! Get'm HUSKARL!
Enemy ATHUN sent out PALADIN!
Enemy PALADIN used IMPALE!
HUSKARL was fully IMPALED!
HUSKARL fainted!
Huskarls, use Stab. Go, Huskarl.
HUSKARL used STAB!
HUSKARL used STAB!
HUSKARL used STAB!
Critical hit!
Enemy PALADIN fainted!
This is getting ridiculous! Get'm HUSKARL!
Enemy ATHUN sent out CAVARCHER!
Huskarls, use Stab. Go, Huskarl.
... HUSKARL GROUP used STAB!
It's super effective!
Hit 4 times!
Enemy CAVARCHER, obviously, fainted!
Enemy ATHUN is out of usable POKéMON!
Enemy ATHUN ran away!
Oh, good... Go, Huskarl...
Go! HUSKARL!
Wild VENOMOTH appeared!
Oh!! Quick Ball, go!
ATHUN used QUICK BALL!
Contratulations! VENOMOTH was caught!
Would you like to give a nickname to the newly captured VENOMOTH?
Yeah. Name it VENOGOTH.
VENOMOTH was renamed VENOGOTH!
VENOGOTH was sent to SOMEONE'S PC!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


I have nothing particular to say about this. Terra's infernal rampage proceeds.

Battle 59: Slothful Encounters of the Fiendish Kind 7/7/2022
Location: Hell, Sloth Layer
Player: Belphegor, Prince of Sloth [no record]


Zzz... zzz...
BELPHEGOR is fast asleep!
TERRA appeared!
... Zzzzz...
BELPHEGOR is fast asleep!
TERRA used DRAMATIC SPEECH!
It didn't affect BELPHEGOR!
Zzzz...
BELPHEGOR is fast asleep!
TERRA wants to fight!
... Snore... Phewewewew...
Enemy TERRA threw a rock!
BELPHEGOR woke up!
---!?
...Who dares ... disturb ... the slumber ... of ... Prince Belphegor ...

TERRA used DRAMATIC SPEECH!
It's not very effective...
Look, maaan... I don't really ... care that much...
Can you maybe... not?

No! There's no running from a POKé BATTLE!
EYECONTACT was already MADE!
Enemy TERRA wants to fight!
Enemy TERRA sent out JUPITER!
Uhh... Go, Landlord...
Get'm! LANDLORD!
Enemy JUPITER used ELECTRIC SHOCK!
ELECTRIC INSPECTOR appeared!
ELECTRIC INSPECTOR used INSPECT!
ELECTRIC INSPECTOR is SHOCKED at the state of LANDLORD's LAZY ELECTRIC WIRING!
Haw... Haw... Just look... At the plumbing...
LANDLORD was dragged off for CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE!
LANDLORD fainted!
Guh... Uhh... Go Robber-Baron...
Do it! ROBBERBARON!
Enemy JUPITER used DIVE!
ROBBERBARON's STOCK FUTURES took a steep DIVE!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
ROBBERBARON fainted!
Of course... He can't... Even get his licks in...
Go... Slothra...

The enemy's strong! Get'm SLOTHRA!
Slothra... Slothslime...
SLOTHRA used SLOTHSLIME!
Enemy JUPITER was fully SLIMED!
Enemy JUPITER fainted!
TERRA is angry!
TERRA sent out MINOS!
Oh... Minos... Really? You're shirking your duties...
...Good job.

MINOS: I'm not shirking, I'm captured!! I can't stop! Help!
Enemy MINOS used JUDGMENT COIL!
SLOTHRA was thrown to SLOTH LAYER!
Wait, that's here...
Other side!
BELPHEGOR is out of usable POKéMON!
BELPHEGOR was dragged out!
Oh... Uhh... Let me see... Rest.
BELPHEGOR used REST!
BELPHEGOR fell asleep!
Enemy TERRA used ULTRA BALL!
3... 2... 1...
Congratulations! BELPHEGOR was caught!
... Zzz... snore...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


If it looks like a pyramid scheme and smells like a pyramid scheme, it's probably a pyramid scheme, no matter how much techno-lipstick the pig has on it...
This battle was put together at the last minute, though the idea's been rattling around in my head since Battle #49 or so.

Battle #60: Neophilic Forgettable Trash 7/14/2022
Location: Ugly Monkey Club
Player: Ugly Monkey Red [no record]


As you all know, we've recently managed to reconstruct the blockchain following the spiking of the entire system...
We still don't know what caused it. Any propositions to what to do about it?

UM BLUE: We could have an AI generate cheap images of us in various clothing and unsettling poses and sell them as collectibles.
That's what we always do.
UM YELLOW: We could sell them as speculative collectibles and then run off with the money.
That's also what we always do.
UM GREEN: Oh! We could make sure the process of trading them is incredibly environmentally and financially costly for no particular reason!
UM WHITE: All while acting like it's some sort of brilliant social democratization of the dynamics of weath...
UM BLACK: ...While it's actually just reinforcing existing financial and social hierarchies due to upfront costs! Genius!
Yeah, we got all that too. But how are we going to prevent it from being spiked again?
Clearly we'll need to make people spend even more energy on it...

UM BLUE: Dunno.
UM YELLOW: Dunno.
UM GREEN: Dunno.
UM WHITE: Just find the guy who did it and tie him up in the server room.
UM BLACK: Dunno.
Well, then, let's make it so...
Meeting adj-

PIRATE appeared!
Oh, you here for the Seafaring Scoundrels shoot?
PIRATE is not!
PIRATE has standards!
Dude we're going to make tons of moolah, you should totally join.
C'mon, haven't you ever heard of honor among thieves?

PIRATE: Yarrrr. That only applies if ye be a crewmate or not an easy target.
PIRATE: Ye be walking the plank now.
PIRATE wants to fight!
Geh. Ugly Monkey Blue, get him!
Go! UM BLUE!
Enemy PIRATE sent out PIRATESHIP!
You'll be sorry. This value's going to the moon!
UM BLUE used TO THE MOON!
UM BLUE went TO THE MOON!
UM BLUE is out of usable OXYGEN!
UM BLUE blacked out!
Oh dang, that would've made a good pose...
Go, Ugly Monkey Yellow!

The enemy's a fully armed 1600s warship! Get'm UM YELLOW!
Enemy PIRATESHIP used SCREENSHOT!
...Wait, you can't do that, that's illegal!
Enemy PIRATESHIP loaded SCREENS into CANNONS and SHOT at UM YELLOW!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
UM YELLOW fainted!
Delete that screen shot. Ugly Monkey Green, make it so!
Do it! UM GREEN!
Green, use Greenwashing!
UM GREEN used GREENWASHING!
UM GREEN is WASHING in GREEN LIQUID!
...GREEN LIQUID was renamed ACID!
It's super effective!
UM GREEN fainted!
... OOK!
That's like two. I get the feeling the Narrator doesn't like us!

NARRATOR doesn't!
NARRATOR has standards!
Grrr...
All right then, time to pull out all the stops, Black, White, outflank him!

Go! UM BLACK!
Go! UM WHITE!
Enemy PIRATE withdrew PIRATESHIP!
Enemy PIRATE sent out JOLLYROGER!
Oi, what the hey!?
Enemy PIRATE says he used BATTLE STYLE: SWITCH!
...Well, whatever, it's just a flag, what can it do?
Enemy JOLLYROGER used CROSSBONES!
UM BLACK and UM WHITE's BONES were CROSSED!
UM BLACK fainted!
UM WHITE fainted!
Yeek.
Ook, that would also have made for a good model pose... Mashups...
More to the point I seem to be out of suckers friends.

UM RED is out of usable POKéMON!
UM RED was dragged out!
Dude! Narrator! Big opportunity for ya here!
... Yeeees?
I'll give you three free collectible pictures and a whole UMCoin if you let us win.
Suuuper collectible. Line always goes up. It'll be worth millions later. Get in today!

...
...Please?~
... NO!
Enemy JOLLYROGER used FLUTTER!
Enemy JOLLYROGER is FLUTTERING in the WIND!
Critical hit!
Ook, oww...
I'm serious, it's a great way to get money...
Once you have the thing, you just sell it off when it's worth what you want...

UM RED used PYRAMID SCHEME!
SCHEMING PYRAMID appeared!
What-
SCHEMING PYRAMID fell on UGLY MONKEY CLUB!
It's super effective!
Critical hit!
UM RED fainted!
UGLY MONKEY CLUB was fully ENPYRAMIDED!
It didn't affect enemy PIRATE!
Nope, not fair at all...
Enemy PIRATE won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


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