Battles 71-75: Darkness Resurging. In these battles, dark forces long forgotten surge forward once more - Isekai Ian and the Ugly Monkey Gang, Team Rocket, Facebook, Missingno., and the Huger.
Malevolent forces collide.
... NARRATOR would recommend NOT going to SCHEMING PYRAMID!
Cute eldritch mummy catgirls ahoy!
You're not stopping me, I'm going in!
... NARRATOR is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
... ISEKIAN ran away in NARRATOR's confusion!
But, ISEKIAN wasn't wearing CAP!
AXTRAP's attack missed!
... anyway, this has gotta be close to the tomb by now. Undead eldritch catgirl haremettes, here I come...
ISEKIAN used KICK!
SARCOPHAGUS flew open!
UM RED appeared!
UM RED: ...
That's not Nya*lat-Hotep at all! It's some hideous monkey monster!
UM RED: Hey, kid, you're no looker yourself, but I can smell your wallet!
UM RED: You lookin' to make a fortune?
UM RED: Stick with me, kid. Get me outta this pyramid and I'll give you a free sample of the next generation 'Nifty' inter-game-transferable items.
UM RED: You'll do great, kid.
UM RED joined you!
POKéBATTLE can't end without BATTLE!
PYRAMID wants to fight!
Enemy PYRAMID sent out BRICKS!
Go, Mjolzuchi, Mythic Hammer of Fortunate Lightning Storms!
Get'm! OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET!
Ally UM RED sent out DIGITAL MINER!
Ally DIGITAL MINER used MINE!
MINES were laid in DIGITAL WORLD!
It doesn't affect enemy BRICKS...
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET used POUND!
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET is worth £1!
Wait, are pounds reverse yen!?
UM RED: Ah, don't worry about it kid, you'll make a good
Enemy BRICKS used BRICK!
DIGITAL MINER was fully BRICKed!
DIGITAL MINER died!
UM RED: !!!
UM RED's IMPOTENT RAGE is building!
UM RED's ATTACK fell!
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET used TAP OUT WISH!
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET WISHes to TAP OUT!
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET's WISH was DENIED!
OVERHYPED SQUEAKY MALLET must FIGHT to the END!
Enemy BRICKS used BRICK BREAK!
Enemy BRICKS are BROKE!
UM RED snapped out of its IMPOTENT RAGE!
UM RED: Yooo. You need money? I'll give you a quick loan offer, this investment in my new digital currency scheme for your next paycheck and your soul.
UM RED used SWINDLE!
It's super effective!
Enemy BRICKS' SOUL was fully SWINDLED!
Enemy BRICKS joined UM RED!
Enemy PYRAMID is out of critical BRICKS!
Enemy PYRAMID greatly fell!
...On ISEKIAN and UM RED!
UM RED fainted!
Battle ended in a draw!
Additional plots develop. I should probably start keeping notes on what plotline's doing what...
DRWILY used FOCUS!
CAMERA was fully FOCUSED!
Coming to you live from the Robot Museum, where the authorities inexplicably leave my robots and substantial components of their stages!
We're in the display case room now, stealing Gutsman once again!
GUTSMAN isn't here!
ROCKET EXECUTIVE appeared!
ROCKET EXECUTIVE: ... well, this is awkward.
I was going to make him into a tank
ROCKET EXECUTIVE: We just need a civil engineer...
DRWILY wants to fight!
ROCKET EXECUTIVE: ... if I must...
ROCKET EXECUTIVE wants to fight!
Enemy ROCKET EXECUTIVE sent out ARBOK!
Enemy ARBOK used WRAP!
Enemy ARBOK used WRAP on BURSTMAN!
Burst Man, counter with Danger Wrap attack!
BURSTMAN used DANGER WRAP!
Enemy ARBOK's WRAP became more DANGEROUS!
BURSTMAN fainted from DANGER!
NARRATOR is only BIASED against ISEKIAN and UM GROUP!
Send out which POKéMON?
The enemy's a huge snake! Get'm RRR!
What will RRR do?
Enemy ARBOK used BITE!
RRR used GROWL!
Enemy ARBOK's ATTACK fell!
... On enemy ARBOK!
What? Enemy ARBOK is evolving!
Enemy ARBOK evolved into AROBOROS!
Rrr! Show them how it's done! Evolve! I command you to evolve!
RRR used EVOLVE!
What? RRR is evolving!
Congratulations! Your RRR evolved into SSS!
But, enemy AROBOROS currently CAN'T HISS!
Enemy AROBOROS used ROLLOUT!
DRWILY was ROLLED OUT of ROBOT MUSEUM!
DRWILY ran away!
DRWILY rolled away!
ROCKET EXECUTIVE: Ah, without that meddling scientist, we can proceed...
ROCKET EXECUTIVE: Moreau, Rocket, Grunt, capture those and bring them along...
DMOREAU used POKéBALL!
ROCKET GRUNT used POKéBALL!
ROCKET used POKéBALL!
My keyboard's J key is
FACEBOOK doesn't like you.
FACEBOOK knows where you live.
FACEBOOK is coming to get you.
JANE wants to fight!
Enemy FACEBOOK sent out FACEBOOK!
PHONE used PRIVACYBLOCK!
It's not very effective...
Enemy FACEBOOK used REBRAND!
What? FACEBOOK is evolving!
Congratulations! Enemy FACEBOOK evolved into META!
Enemy META withdrew META!
Enemy META sent out FACEBOOK!
PHONE used LIPSTICK ON A PIG!
... MISS PIGGY appeared!
MISS PIGGY used KARATE CHOP!
What? Enemy FACEBOOK is devolving!
Congratulations! Enemy FACEBOOK devolved into BOOK!
Enemy BOOK fainted!
MISS PIGGY ran away!
Enemy META is angry!
Enemy META sent out METAVERSE!
... But, it failed!
JANE used VICIOUS MOCKERY!
It's super effective!
Enemy META'S ACCURACY fell!
DISADVANTAGE on next ATTACK ROLL, ACCURACY fell, same difference!
Enemy META used META!
... HIBER appeared!
HIBER: Oi, only I'm allowed to do meta gags here.
HIBER used KEYBOARD SMASHL,.KM/;CXVB,BMGH
HIBR: And don't you forgt it... Oh my gosh, my and kys ar brokn...
HIBR ran away to gt NW KYBOARD!
nmy MTA faintd! Us nxt POKéMON?
HIBER: That's because I type it with ALT+0233...
HIBER: Blame Matt, I'm sure I learned it off Flame Version...
HIBER: Anyway this battle's late anyway, congratulations, you win.
DYSTOPIA wants to fight ally AIRSTRIP12!
Enemy DYSTOPIA sent out HUGERGAME!
Enemy HUGERGAME demands TRIBUTE!
Fine I volunteer as the tribute.
Enemy DYSTOPIA: ...
Enemy DYSTOPIA: ... Okay, we can work with that...
THEODORIC: No, you get fed to the Huger.
THEODORIC: The tributes get fed to the Huger.
THEODORIC: Normally you'd tribute, like, 200 each of food, wood, gold, and stone or something.
Well, guess that beats dying in a darn dirt mine at 35 because Dystopia doesn't give us protective gear. Dang.
THEODORIC: ... Anyway...
THEODORIC: The Huger won't attack you itself.
THEODORIC: It'll sic its Fireworms on you until you're cooked well done,
THEODORIC's FOOD greatly rose!
THEODORIC: Oh don't worry about it, we make walls out of them.
THEODORIC: Anyway, you have a bow, right? They say that in case of emergeny, ten arrows will kill the Huger.
THEODORIC: Only arrows work, nothing else.
TRAINCAR is full of HUSKARLs!
HUSKARLS poured out!
Enemy HUGER sent out FIRESNAKES!
FIRESNAKE1: Jesus loooves you...!
FIRESNAKE2: We love you too...!
FIRESNAKE1: Come give us a hug...!
FIRESNAKES used MOMENTUM RUSH!
FIRESNAKES' attack missed!
CATNIP used RAPID SHOT!
Hit 5 times!
Enemy FIRESNAKES used MOMENTUM RUSH!
Enemy FIRESNAKES kept going and crashed!
GAME was frozen solid!
HIBER: I swear...
HIBER used FLAMETHROWER!
Fire defrosted Ally GAME!
GAME was instantly frozen solid!
HIBER: My word it's an infinite loop...
HIBER: ... Jesus
HIBER used REFACTOR!
Enemy FIRESNAKES was fully REturned to FACTORy!
HIBER: That's a forced pun but it progresses the battle...
HIBER ran away!
HUGER: Ah... This is awkward.
Enemy HUGER sent out HUGER!
HUGER: I can't eat my meals
CATNIP used MANYSHOT!
Hit 4 times!
CATNIP is out of usable ARROWS!
It's gotta be at low HP, right? I'm using a PokéBall!
HUGER: That's terribly rude. You're supposed to either get eaten or shoot me. What would it do to our
CATNIP used POKé BALL!
1... 2... 3...
Congratulations! Enemy HUGER was caught!
Steve works as a pollster. In Hell.
STEVE used WAIT!
It's super boring!
You know, it's really surprising how
Even my frickin' job came along. We had like a week off while the big wigs figured stuff out and then it's back to the grind.
Only difference is that I'm pretty sure some of our clients are demons trying to gauge the efficacy of their ... I don't know, sin campaigns or whatever.
And they still manage to be less annoying than some of the political ones, like the darn-
Wild RESPONDENT appeared!
Wild RESPONDENT ran away!
Wild RESPONDENT appeared!
RESPONDENT: Sorry, gotta dash, Edward Longshanks is spamming longbowmen!
RESPONDENT ran away!
Oh my gosh it's been like an hour though. If this keeps up I swear I'll start dropping mind tricks on them.
Wild MISSING NO. appeared!
Enemy MISSING NO. used LEVELUP!
Enemy MISSING NO. grew to level 85!
It's low level! Cloyster, Toxic!
CLOYSTER used TOXIC!
CLOYSTER made enemy MISSING NO. play LEGION OF LEGS!
It's super toxic!
Enemy MISSING NO. flinched!
Enemy MISSING NO. was badly poisoned!
Enemy MISSING NO.'s RAGE is building!
Enemy MISSING NO.'s WILL TO LIVE greatly fell!
Enemy MISSING NO. used LIQUID SHIELD!
But, LIQUID VERSION is mostly LOST!
Enemy MISSING NO.'s SHIELD was LIQUIDATED!
CLOYSTER used CLAMP!
Enemy MISSING NO.'s LEVEL was fully CLAMPed!
COWORKER: Yo, Steve, did you hear there's an outbreak of low level Missing No. lately? I didn't even know they came online before level 100!
COWORKER: Oh man, really? I gotta tweet about this.
COWORKER: Oh man, that is some
CLOYSTER used FILTER!
Enemy MISSING NO. was FILTERed of GARBAGE!
Enemy MISSING NO. is in critical condition!
COWORKER: Dude I can't believe this, like, the rumors say over in Sandy Version the office gossip dude evolved into a monster and started eating people's brains!
COWORKER: Can you believe that?
COWORKER: Say, you heard any other juicy gossip? ... Actually, your brain is starting to look pretty delicious--
Enemy COWORKER is evolving!
Congratulations! Enemy COWORKER evolved into GOSSLORD!
DARKSTEVE ran away!
Enemy GOSSLORD is looking HUNGRILY at enemy MISSING NO.!
Enemy MISSING NO. ran away!
Battle ended in a draw!