Poké Battles: Foxfire Version
Foxfire Version: Official Battles

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Battles 6-10 all developed on characters from Battles 1-5, and prepared for the first Tournament. In the end, none of the tournament's participants were players in these battles, though.

<< Older | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Tournament 1 >>


This battle is the first I've published as an explicit sequel to another battle. As of writing, I have a lot of stuff planned in the future involving multiple arcs and a long term plot, though the emphasis of this series is always going to be week to week.

Battle #6: Technical Difficulties July 1, 2021
Location: Jane's House
Player: Jane F. Deer [1-0-1] Last Battle: Win vs. Landline Phone (Battle #2)


Ahh... Without that phone, finally, some peace and quiet.
Let's see what's going on online.

COMPUTER used SURF!
JANE is SURFING the NET!
Wild AD appeared!
Oh no. No, I don't want to buy whatever you're selling.
Lucky me I have an adblocker.

Go! ADLBOCK!
Now, just block that ad.
ADBLOCK used BLOCK!
Wild AD was fully BLOCKED!
Wild AD fainted!
Ah, now where were we...
????? wants to fight!
????? sent out POPUP!
What the...
Adlblock, use Block!

ADLBOCK used BLOCK!
It doesn't affect enemy POPUP!
POPUP used ADVERTISE!
POPUP: Your computer has been compromised. Install Windows Offender to remove 96501 viruses now.
Oh heckdammit it's a virus.
????? was renamed VIRUS!
POPUP used DATACORRUPTION!
ADBLOCK was fully CORRUPTED!
ADBLOCK died!
... Well shoot!
Uhhm. Go, Antivirus!

JANE sent out ANTIVIRUS!
Antivirus, quarantine these popups!
ANTIVIRUS used QUARANTINE!
POPUP fainted!
VIRUS sent out VIRUS!
Now, scan it! Make sure there aren't any more of them too.
ANTIVIRUS used SCAN!
VIRUS was ID'd!
VIRUS was renamed ROOTKIT!
Ooooh. Crap. That is not good.
ROOTKIT used REBOOTKIT!
COMPUTER was fully REBOOTED!
C'mon...
ANTIVIRUS died!
Fff--!!
Fine! I'm gonna just ... Wipe this whole thing out ...

JANE sent out JANE!
JANE used WIPE!
HARD DRIVE was fully WIPED!
COMPUTER is rebooting...
COMPUTER: Operating system not found. Press any key to turn off.
Well... At least I still have you, smartphone.
JANE won!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


Steve most certainly needed a bath anyway. He's the same Steve as appeared briefly in Battle #2, but I didn't decide that until this battle.

Battle #7: Attack of the Lake Monster July 8, 2021
Location: A Lake
Player: Steve "The Soaked" Simmons [0-1-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Vulpix (Battle #4)



STEVE is in LAKE!
Ugh...
NARRATOR thinks STEVE needed a bath anyway!
LAKEMONSTER wants to fight!
Eww. That thing isn't cute at all.
Also, maybe I should get out of this lake...
Anyway, Cloyster go!

Go! CLOYSTER!
LAKEMONSTER sent out GYRADOS!
GYRADOS used GYRE!
GYRADOS is GYRING and GIMBALING in the WABE!
WABE washed over CLOYSTER!
It's not very effective...
Huh... Cloyster, use Clamp!
CLOYSTER used CLAMP!
CLOYSTER attached TABLE CLAMPS to enemy GYRADOS!
Enemy GYRADOS can't move!
Not what I expected but that works...
Enemy GYRADOS can no longer GYRE!
What? GYRADOS is devolving!
GYRADOS devolved into DOS!
MS DOS 5! Get it at your local computer store today!
How much are they paying you for those ads...
NARRATOR thinks STEVE shouldn't ask dangerous questions!
DOS used DELETE!
No!
DOS's attack missed!
Good! Deal with it quick, Cloyster, Spike Cannon!
CLOYSTER used SPIKE CANNON!
SPIKE was shot at enemy DOS!
MLP or that old vampire?
SPIKE is a STEGOSAUR!
SPIKE examined enemy DOS!
SPIKE determined that enemy DOS was not edible, and wandered off!
Well that was useless.
Enemy DOS used CRASH!
It kept going and crashed!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail?
F F F F F F F
Enemy DOS failed!
Enemy DOS fainted!
Enemy LAKEMONSTER sent out GOREBYSS!
Whee-whew.
GOREBYSS is angry!
GOREBYSS used GORE!
CLOYSTER was fully GORED!
Oh drat! That's my last one!
CLOYSTER fainted!
STEVE is out of usable Pokémon...
STEVE was drgged out!
C'mon... Really?!
GOREBYSS used BYSS!
STEVE was sent to BYSS!

Location: Byss

Woah, weird lighting here. Feels kinda ... Funny too.
EMPEROR appeared!
EMPEROR wants to know how STEVE is on his private planet!
Well I was trying to catch me cute Pokémon and get babes...
STEVE used EXPLAIN!
It's not very effective...
EMPEROR laughs!
EMPEROR approves of your blatantly selfish hedonism!
EMPEROR is in a good mood!
EMPEROR thinks you should JOIN THE DARK SIDE!
Hey, man, I'd be happy to if it'd get me more girls.
STEVE used JOINTHEDARKSIDE!
What? STEVE is evolving!
STEVE evolved into DARKSTEVE!
Sweeeet.
EMPEROR also wants you off his planet though!
EMPEROR used FORCE!
DARKSTEVE was FORCED back to the previous location!

Location: Lake

Aaaand I'm all wet again.
LAKEMONSTER still wants to fight!
LAKEMONSTER sent out LAKEMONSTER!
Okaay. Go me!
Go! DARKSTEVE!
You know what. I'm just gonna ... Try that thing the old wrinkly dude with the creepy laugh did.
DARKSTEVE is trying to learn FORCE!
But, DARKSTEVE can't learn more than four moves!
Delete a move to make room for FORCE?
Yes!
SKEEVE SLEAZE SLIME SURVEY
Slime!
1, 2, and... Poof!
DARKSTEVE forgot SLIME!
And...
DARKSTEVE learned FORCE!
Enemy LAKEMONSTER used DROWN!
DARKSTEVE was dragged under the surface!
!!!
Blblblbl!!

DARKSTEVE used FORCE!
Enemy LAKEMONSTER was FORCED to let go!
DARKSTEVE made it to the surface!
DARKSTEVE's attack continues!
Enemy LAKEMONSTER was FORCED to go away!
Enemy LAKEMONSTER fled!
DARKSTEVE won!
Earned 957 experience points.
What... Was that...
That was amazing...

DARKSTEVE is feeling the DARK SIDE of the FORCE!
It's super corrupting!
Hahahaha. I don't even need to do surveys anymore. With this power, I can do whatever I want...!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


This battle was written before and probably intended to go before Battle #7, but it didn't work out that way. It makes just as much sense like this.

Battle #8: Space Pirate Pandemonium July 15, 2021
Location: A Light Freighter, Space
Player: Anakin Skywalker [1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Sebulba (Battle #5)


ANAKIN is on FREIGHTER!
SHMI is on FREIGHTER!
SHMI: It's that voice again... That can't mean anything good.
Mom! Last time it ppeared I won the podrace!
SHMI: Last time it appeared you almost died in the podrace, and you were lucky to make it out.
SHMI: Almost everyone in the race crashed. The stands were really messed up. And you know the Hutts are after us for it.
I lived, though, and we're free now! And we even have our own ship from the prize money!
And now we're going to Coruscant. I'm gonna become a Jedi, and free all the slaves.

SHMI: I suppose I shouldn't complain... Still.
SHMI is right to be scared!
PIRATESHIP appeared!
PIRATESHIP is flying JOLLYROGER! SHMI: They're hailing us.
PIRATE appeared on screen!
PIRATE: Yarrr. Ye be surrenderin' and givin' us all ye booty and treasure now.
No!
PIRATE: Then ye be walkin' the plank.
PIRATE ran up the RED FLAG!
PIRATE wants to fight!
SHMI: Oh, Ani...
What else was I supposed to do? Let them take all our stuff? They'd probably space us anyway - or worse, take us back as slaves again.
SHMI: I suppose you have a point... Stilll...
SHMI covered her eyes!
PIRATE sent out PIRATESHIP!
ANAKIN sent out FREIGHTER!
It'll be all right, mom. I can fly rings around that thing!
FREIGHTER used FLY RINGS!
FREIGHTER is flying through rings!
FREIGHTER regained health!
STAR FOX 64! Get it today for NINTENDO 64!
PIRATE: Ready the crack four-pounders! Fire!
PIRATESHIP used CRACK FOUR POUNDERS!
FOUR POUNDERS were fully CRACKED!
PIRATE: Yarrr... That not be so great.
Pirate: Ye still be walkin' the plank, though!
Not it I have anything to say about it. Quad blasters!
FREIGHTER used QUADBLASTERS!
QUADS in enemy PIRATESHIP's CARGOBAY were fully BLASTED!
PIRATE: Yar! Ye scurvy landlubber! Those be me excursioning quads! I'll have ye all keelhauled!
PIRATE: Make ready ye cutlasses! Prepare for boarding action!
PIRATESHIP used BOARD!
BOARDS were attached to FREIGHTER!
PIRATE is crossing the BOARDS!
SHMI: We need to get out of here, now!
Can't escape!
PIRATE is attacking FREIGHTER's hull!
Maybe if we just... Override some of the hyperdrive sfeties...
OAK: ANAKIN! Now is not the time to use that!
... Huh?
OAK: Use the Force, ANAKIN!
The Force?
SHMI: Anakin, who are you talking to...?
ANAKIN closed eyes!
ANAKIN used FORCE!
BOARD was FORCED off of FREIGHTER and PIRATESHIP!
PIRATE was set adrift in space!
PIRATE: Oh yar har har harrrr....
ANAKIN won!
ANAKIN gained 324 experience points!
ANAKIN leveled up!
Yippee!
What? ANAKIN is evolving!
... Wait, what?
Congratulations! Your ANAKIN evolved into AOTCANAKIN!
ANAKIN learned ANGST!
ANAKIN learned RAGE!
ANAKIN learned DUAL WIELD!
... I have a really bad feeling about this.

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


Wherein Jane becomes increasingly socially isolated. I'm absolutely sort of maybe going somewhere with this.

Battle #9: Social Issues July 22, 2021
Location: Jane's House, Pallet Town
Player: Jane F. Deer [2-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Virus (Battle #6)


FACEBOOK appeared!
I should really check in on my family. It's been a while with my phone out and my computer down.
DAD: Hi, pumpkin! I've got a job with the Widget Corporation of America. I make a lot of money from home, and you could too if you're interested!
Oh yeah, dad's doing the whole MLM thing...
MOM: Hey, honey! Have you heard the good news of the Church of the Iron Nail?
...Aaaand mom's joined a cult. Maybe I'll check Twitter out.
TWITTER wants to fight!
...Of course it does...
I know the drill, go, Smartphone...

Go! SMARTPHONE!
TWITTER sent out USERBASE!
USERBASE used FLAMEWAR!
... On each other!
It's super effective!
USERBASE is getting worked up!
JANE was caught in the crossfire!
Ugh... Smartphone just ... Block them all...
SMARTPHONE used BLOCK!
Part of USERBASE was blocked!
FACEBOOK used STALK!
FACEBOOK is tracking who you blocked!
SUSPICIOUSLY RELEVANT AD appeared!
CURIOUSLY RELEVANT AD appeared!
STRANGELY RELEVANT AD appeared!
Gah... Block them all!
SMARTPHONE used ADBLOCK!
ADs were BLOCKED!
It's not very effective...
Let me guess. They're gonna stalk me all over the darn internet...
YES!
Right... Smartphone, delete them... There's nothing there for me anyway.
SMARTPHONE used DELETE!
FACEBOOK was fully deleted!
FACEBOOK used STALK!
FACEBOOK is still stalking JANE!
Drat it all, what do I have to do to get these companies to just leave me alone!?
Smartphone, block them!
SMARTPHONE is reading TWITTER!
USERBASE used CONFUSING ARGUMENT!
SMARTPHONE is confused!
It joined enemy TWITTER in its confusion!
Screw it, I'm turning my smartphone off. I can't deal with this now and I think my smartphone's getting indoctrinated by something sketchy...
Go! JANE!
JANE used OFFSWITCH!
SMARTPHONE was switched off!
It's super effective!
A one-hit KO!
SMARTPHONE fainted!
USERBASE was hedged out!
TWITTER was hedged out!
Bleh.
Smartphone, return...

Return! SMARTPHONE!
JANE won!
JANE gained 681 bad experience points!
Guess I'll just ... Watch TV or something...
JANE turned on the TV!
JANE is watching TV!
TV ANCHOR: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you news that the alleged dangerous criminal, Rubensberg Hookman, alleged to be the true identity of the infamous "Man With Hook" who allegedly perpetrated the West Kanto Hook Massacres, is allegedly on the loose following an allegeded incident allegedly involving unknown alleged events.
Oh, no.
TV ANCHOR: If you see the alleged criminal, do not approach. He is allegedly armed and dangerous. As you know, the West Kanto Hook Massacres allegedly mainly targeted socially isolated young women in their homes or outside. For everyone in the Pallet Town area, we recommend locking your doors tonight.
Yeah, okay, I better lock up...
DOOR fainted!
Oh, no....
To be continued...

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


This battle was meant to come a little later on, but for the purposes of the upcoming Tournament I wanted Jane in somewhat of a stable place. I swear I'm gonna do more battles about other people for a while after this.

Battle #10: Hook Hand Havoc July 29, 2021
Location: Jane's House, Pallet Town
Player: Jane F. Deer [3-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Twitter (Battle #9)


Last time, on PokéBattles: Foxfire Version...

TV ANCHOR: If you see the alleged criminal, do not approach. He is allegedly armed and dangerous. As you know, the Foxfire Valley Hook Massacres allegedly mainly targeted isolated young women in their homes or while they were out of the home. If you are one, we recommend locking your doors tonight.
Yeah, okay, I better lock up...
DOOR used OPEN!
Oh, no...

Now...

MAN WITH HOOK appeared!
Aaaand he's seen me...
MAN WITH HOOK wants to fight!
MAN WITH HOOK also wants to break into interior decoration!
...Wait, what?
NARRATOR is also confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
OW!
MAN WITH HOOK says he means decorating with JANE'S interiors!
Ooooh.
JANE went white!
Let's ... not do that ... Run away!
JANE ran into BEDROOM!
JANE locked DOOR behind her!
Go! DOOR!
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK sent out HOOK!
C'mon, door, just hold for a little bit! Please!
DOOR used ENDURE!
HOOK used SLASH!
DOOR held on with 1 HP!
Maybe I can go out the window?
OAK: JANE! Now is not the time to use that!
Dammit, Oak, not now...!
There's no running from a POKé BATTLE!
HOOK used SLASH!
DOOR fainted!
MAN WITH HOOK used HERESJOHNNY!
HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!!
Aaaauugh!!
It's super effective!
JANE's EXPECTED LIFESPAN greatly fell!
Nonononono! Go, uhhh... This curtain rod!
Go! CURTAINROD!
HOOK used SLASH!
It's not very effective...
Enemy HOOK was caught on CURTAINROD!
Curtainrod, hang it up!
CURTAINROD used HANG UP!
CURTAINROD hung up on enemy HOOK!
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK was dragged out!
Good job! Now, uhhm--
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK used SNAP IN HALF!
CURTAINROD was bent in half over enemy MAN WITH HOOK's knee!
CURTAINROD fainted!
Ooooh. Crap crap crap...
But you bought time! Go, Taser!

Go! TASER!
Taser! Thundershock!
TASER used THUNDERSHOCK!
THUNDER boomed outside!
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK was SHOCKED!
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK flinched!
That buys us a little time, now, Volt Tackle, and aim for his oompa loompas!
TASER used VOLT TACKLE TO THE OOMPA LOOMPAS!
...It's super effective!
Critical hit!
Enemy MAN WITH HOOK fainted!
JANE won!
Oh thank goodness...
That won't keep him down for long though. Pokéball, ghh--

OAK: JANE! Now is not the time to use that!
Oh for the love of oak, Oak...!
Gotta get somewhere safer then. Gotta get the police or ... something. Not safe here.

JANE ran away!

If you enjoyed the battle, you can send feedback to the site email or discuss on the community Discord.


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